By Poopamus - 23/04/2019 14:00

Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 528
You deserved it 507

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Guess who’s a number one suspect!? I know it’s tempting to threaten those shitty people, but you just can’t for this very reason. I do hope there is a follow up for this one though

This is why you don’t make threats.

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This is why you don’t make threats.

Guess who’s a number one suspect!? I know it’s tempting to threaten those shitty people, but you just can’t for this very reason. I do hope there is a follow up for this one though

Did you expect the threat to have no consequences? It’s 2019, someone will call the police over a car alarm.

And the #1 suspect of the case is named Poopamus

Maybe he took your threat seriously. Or maybe you followed through with it. *squints suspiciously*

Sounds like a fun Carmen Sandiego episode. You leading the cops to various exotic countries to show them where you buried body parts.

Imagine having to travel halfway around the world just to find some dead guy's junk.

So where did you bury him. $50k and I’ll help make home disappear for real.

Probably took off after telling someone about the threat to screw with you. And I wouldn’t take that possibility lightly.

you were just protecting your girl

that's why the cops ask you something you always ask why before you give an answer.