Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML
Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, I told off my crazy sister-in-law after she made my wife cry for putting on weight during lockdown. Then, as I was sleeping in my armchair, the crazy bitch snuck into the house and cut off every single one of my meter-long dreadlocks. Now I got a BALD HEAD. FML
Today, I got my 9 year-old daughter back from a sleepover at my mum's. My 17 year-old niece was also staying there at the same time, and heard my daughter complaining that her fringe was in her eyes. My niece decided to cut my daughter's hair. There are now chunks missing and it's all uneven. No one asked my permission. FML
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
'Sleepwalk' into her room in a ski-mask whilst wielding a chainsaw. See if she's still smirking then.
chanellgymnast 17
What a bitch.
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Comments (105)
chanellgymnast 17
What a bitch.
Damian95 16
The solution is simple...Kill her.
luhar 7
As dom toretto always says " family sticks together, no matter what." even if it's murder...
Jewish_Nazi_666 2
Piss in her mouth while she's sleeping for revenge
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Piss in her mouth? Seriously? Maybe give her some lemonade with a hint of piss, if that's really what you want to do..but actually pissing in her mouth?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Well the mods just made me look stupid. I was replying to someone who said "Piss in her mouth". Must of got deleted..
jjessen 20
I say falcon punch that bitch!
kenleybunch 15
Simply stated, yet perfect for the occasion
ntremaglio 1
You're hot.
SnuWolf 15
Wait, are we talking about the mother or the younger sister?
jjessen 20
Both
iteenlovequotes 19
yikes, that sucks. im sorry your mom took her side and not yours
xBethanyC 15
I would have decked her in the face and said I was sleep punching.
PandaSmile 24
My younger sister gets away with everything too. Sucks man I can relate
ColdplaySucks 18
That's where you smack her as hard as you can. Your parents will go against you for that but she'll know what'll happen if she does it again.
Doritozilla 20
My mom had a younger sister that would do things like this when they were younger, but my mom then actually beat her sister up because she said her parents were going to get angry at her either way.
Rddvl 11
Definitely lock your doors from now on..
fsomelife 26
Unfortunately, not everyone has locks on the doors to their rooms :/ And even if she does, judging by her idiot mother, she wouldn't be allowed to use it.
mollyjynxjax 28
Yeah, I don't even have a door
theworldismad 10
I have a lock, but somehow my 10 year old brother knows how to pick locks and he would do something like that
hienzburgess 9
cut your mom's hair with the same excuse.
wlddog 14
Very good idea. Except say it was the sister sleep walking. The mom would have no come back for that. She can not even get mad without looking like a bitch.
hawkislayer 2
The consequences of the mom waking up during the act does not seem worth it.
nix1993 41
'Sleepwalk' into her room in a ski-mask whilst wielding a chainsaw. See if she's still smirking then.
Maxcrss 7
OP!! Do this an film it! I would pay at least $5 to see that! It would help pay for a wig until your hair grows back.
LookAttMyyLifee 12
Your sisters a bitch. Sorry not sorry. Shave her whole head when shes sleeping now
Mauskau 36
And the award for skanky photo goes to..
Freethaawave 19
Why do you care what her picture is? What does that have to do with the FML? Are you just jealous because you're not cute at all?
ntremaglio 1
You're hot.
fuckedPriceless 17
Just do the same to her while "sleep walking"
Ambient25 25
On the plus side you'll probably become really good friends with the "scene kids" now.
olpally 33
Shave her head while she's asleep, claim you were sleep walking too. That little bitch.