Not a morning person

By crazybitch - 18/06/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 000
You deserved it 4 041

Same thing different taste

Top comments

catanita 18

So, morning sex is out of the question.

Well, loads of people can't go without their regular caffeine intake in the morning. I know my hands start trembling if I don't have my hot brew in the morning. It's really bad though.


Why do people always assume you're trying to mock them? Lol don't ask her how she slept anymore?

Well, loads of people can't go without their regular caffeine intake in the morning. I know my hands start trembling if I don't have my hot brew in the morning. It's really bad though.

Nice of you to ask her, and I honestly don't see how to take that question a bad way. She obviously saw one.

Wait until she's on her period and hide all the cigarettes and caffeine. It'll be really fun, I promise.

This brought back the " hell no! Hold my poodle" scene from white chicks for some reason

Yep, I'm sure everyone hurls heavy objects at other peoples' heads when they have no morning coffee or smokes. Nuts to that O.P , RUN FOR THE HILLS BRO

Imagine this girl on PMS and without coffee

26, That would be quite the adventure the original poster would get himself into. We should tell him to load up with chocolate and other sweets, so he has some sort of protection from his crazy gf lol.

maebelline12 12

I'm pretty sure coffee addiction along with smoking can permanently stain your teeth brown...that's just not attractive...

catanita 18

So, morning sex is out of the question.

Well he could still get some if he... No it's not gonna happen

If he what? Look at what you made me curious!

If he goes to the store and gets her coffee and cigarettes of course!

perdix 29

They do have caffeine/nicotine lube. That might be worth a . . . shot.

She'd probably call him an insensitive asshole and throw the condom at his head for even mentioning it.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Not out of the question... But it is a question of all limbs remain intact after. I'm not a morning person either. The trick is to work coffee into the foreplay. ;)

That'd probably earn him a few knifes. The hair drier's just the beginning.

After many attempts I managed to do it. But only because I had to. I don't think it was a very fun experience for my fiancé though; hormonal and without coffee.

MerrikBarbarian 9

How would that help? Tea has caffeine too ya know right? Some teas can have as much as coffee. Making sure all potential weapons are cleared from the vicinity is a far safer bet

Good God, not already. Mods! We've got a loner in aisle 5!

RedPillSucks 31

That's seriously messed up, Squishii... OP: Does this cloth smell like cloroform to you? GF: What? How the hel.... ohhhh.... ???? Profit!!!

abouttosleep 5

I'm thinking what would happen at day 2 or even 3 if the situation continues, keep it up

This is not a normal reaction when you don't have your morning coffee or smoke. I think it's time to see if she is all there in the head. It isn't normal to throw a hairdryer when you've just woken up.

I think a smoke in the morning would be nasty. Who wants to taste like an ashtray right when they wake up? Hurrah for being a non-smoker.

MerrikBarbarian 9

84- it can be under certain circumstances. Anyone waking me up knows to stay out of strike range til I'm coherent enough to recognize them. Side effect of past abuse, I go into fight mode first. It's not healthy or ok, but it can be understandable.

DwarfFrog 5

I thought celesta was making a pun. Cuz bean.... Like coffee bean... No? Okay. :/

Why yes I was trying to make a terrible pun, it attracted unwanted grammar nazis though :(

I'd give him two thumbs down if I could. One for unnecessarily being a grammar nazi, and the other for trying to take after The Situation.

Llama_Face89 33

Wonder if he's the dude who ended up thrown in jail for smacking his girl around in public.

Drew167 8

I'm not you dick so how bout you **** off hitting a female is wrong

I love how he's being a grammar nazi but can't spell about... just enjoying the irony

"Coffee! Smokes! Raaawwwrr! Brains!" From -_- to O.O to X_X

Caffeine withdrawl can be a bitch, but that kind of reaction might mean its mostly in her head.

You can't be anymore right. Without it every inch of my body hurts with a shooting pain. Not only that but the headache is like someone is shoving a knife into my brain. Not only that but there's no drive to do anything. That could be why she feels like that in the morning. I know I do most mornings...

Drew167 8

Your girlfriend is probably somebody you shouldn't **** with, at least you know for next time.

If she's quitting both, he should have known to slink around the house carefully in the mornings. Stay quiet and the angry lioness may not strike.

What kind of a pussy bitch answer is that? I kinda feel bad for you man