Love: Not a morning person

Not a morning person

By crazybitch - 18/06/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 001

You deserved it 4 041

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

Shame on you!

By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 724

You deserved it 392

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 902

You deserved it 5 112

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 21:21 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 426

You deserved it 7 605

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 3 378

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 818

You deserved it 3 650

Romantic moves

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 271

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 017

You deserved it 8 832

Great relationship you got there…

By anon - 26/10/2022 00:00

Today, I had to blast music, turn the lights on, and physically drag my 29 year-old girlfriend out of bed to wake her up. All the while, she verbally abused me. This is the only way to wake her up, and if I don't do it, she will sleep through the day and then scream at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 490

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 5 479

Cristal mommies

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 23:00 - United Kingdom - Barking

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 197

catanita 18

Monday 18 June 2012 12:51

So, morning sex is out of the question.

maosquare 18

Monday 18 June 2012 12:49

Well, loads of people can't go without their regular caffeine intake in the morning. I know my hands start trembling if I don't have my hot brew in the morning. It's really bad though.

Comments

ra10244 0

Wednesday 20 June 2012 16:25

Next time she throws the hair dryer or whatever else at you, either duck n throw it in her direction. That'll teach her. Lol

epokryfky 0

Wednesday 20 June 2012 20:20

Uh, time to hit the ol' dusty trail?

cwtb19 0

Wednesday 20 June 2012 21:00

That's crazy.

highfived 1

Thursday 21 June 2012 1:58

Harsh

HeartOfLead 24

Thursday 21 June 2012 4:56

If that title isn't mocking her then I don't know what is.

fireblotter2 1

Thursday 21 June 2012 7:53

You can do better than her

chickentaco1230 4

Friday 22 June 2012 8:04

It's like Parent Trap!!!

caitiebug1119 15

Sunday 24 June 2012 4:12

Well...she warned you...it might have been her time of the month too.

JordanMichelle09 4

Monday 27 August 2012 22:20

She warned you, dude. Just saying. Coffee and Cigarettes are the only thing keeping me from killing everyone in the morning as well. I sympathize with her.