By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 15:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 668
You deserved it 12 980

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Top comments

steve247 2
orgasm_blush 4

Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.


ConnorBrown36 5

don't be mad, I bet the night was still young

flipfloperson 5
RacistPancake 6

Turn safe search off and google image huge clit... I dare you.

Don't be hatin' OP. Who knows, you might give horrible blow jobs.

OP should color code her genitals and provide him with a key map. It never fails in shopping malls, so I'm sure its purpose would translate nicely.

Let him know it looks like a tiiiiiny ********, I'm sure he's worked plenty of those.

perdix 29

#36, I took your dare. Yuck! I'm sure there are some guys that wish they had that much.

canttouchthis90 0

If he can't find your clit.... He's too young for you bro.


Hey I always need a map when there's a jungle..if you know what I'm saying

SwtCherryPie 26

#36 OMG after reading your post i googled it outta curiousity.. that is soo freaky..

If you googled huge clit, don't google blue waffle.

Mario_lib 6

Its not a huge clit. Just google "hermaphrodite"

marpay 11

240- just like men have different sized penises women have different sized clits. Plus the more testosterone in your body the larger it gets.

250- I doubt it. The way the FML is worded makes it sound like they've done this a lot. (does anyone else find it a challenge to remember the number of the person you're replying to when using the app?)

I dont quite appreciate her attitude. "How dare you try to please me in this way, male companion! I give you a D- for effort! Mwahahahahahah!!!"

172- hahaha I was waiting for someone to say that!

You wanna see scarred? Look up female body builders with safe search off :)

mrkwaje 0

It good to play stupid than do something u do not want to do.

orgasm_blush 4

Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.

Your display pic kind of reminds me of this FML.

imcutefml 0

It really would i didnt kno where until like a month ago xD

Circle circle dot dot you can't find my playful spot!

KiddNYC1O 20

True. I think this is the dumbest FML I've read in a while. Oh no, your life sucks so much because your boyfriend can't find your ********. (sarcastic)

This FML is slightly funny but an awful one in general. It's worded all wrong. Im sorta surprised it made it through.

azouwa 26

My ex husband couldn't find mine either. After 9 years with him, giving him a map, and pointing many times, I gave up.

steve247 2

Or you can use the light from your iPod/phone and shine it on the parts of your body you want him to touch/kiss. (:

13FTW 9

87, what the **** does that have to do with anything?

Well.... I thought people were suggesting cute fun ways to show where the OP's clit was to make things more playful. I guess this was not the case. Now do you understand? Or is it still too difficult for you?

Yeah, draw a little Pierre face on it. If nothing else you'll enjoy the thirty minutes of scrubbing in the shower to get it off afterwards.

I thought it was a cute idea, Enslaved. But no, it didn't really fit with these comments. They weren't being serious (I hope!)

13FTW 9

154, go pet your pussy. Which has been correctly referred to as ugly.

lifesuxalways12 0
Octain 13

87- or you could use laser pointer, and hope he chases it like a cat. Without the clawing of course.

RubyRed829 12

Funniest shit I've read all day.

DoNotEnter 5

That's okay... My boyfriend knows where it is but can't figure out how to use it. :(

proxxX069069 7

It's a fairly obvious portion of the female genetalia... I can understand not finding the urethra but... The boyfriend has no excuses.

lol mine too!! it's annoying to have to show turnoff to me to have to teach but! if u like him just do it once and hopefully he'll figure it out...I mean...come on!

It's not that hard to understand their confusion, men don't have one and mostly they don't have to have special tricks to reach ******. Sad fact of life. If you aren't willing to have patience and teach, then learn to love to take care of it yourself.

so? I don't have a penis but I can use one :) people are together to enjoy one another...who wants to only ********** the rest their lives? lol

DKjazz 20

199- *raises hand* EDIT: *raises left hand*

199, penises are significantly easier than their female counter parts as far as stimulation goes.

limblessorphan 4

Is that why you're called "donotenter"?

ReynshineCutting 10

Or you could try different things to get G spot stimulation then the ******** becomes unnecessary. It's soooo much better anyway

277, it's not yet confirmed that every woman has a g-spot, I actually think studies have shown fewer women have a g-spot than not, but I can't remember.

Every woman has a G spot, don't blame woman for guys being bad at sex and unable to satisfy a woman.

so find a different boyfriend. problem solved.

Petunia888 13

Or in this case, G marks the spot.

I bet thirty three was all like "ya I'm so clever and original right now." and then she was like "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."

Petunia888 13

Yeah, that's what happens when two people comment within a second of each other. :-/

nater535 7

Wait does he have the map so he can find the compass and therefore know what room it's in?

biglittlehead 12

Is that an ocarina of time reference?

It'd work with any zelda game bar maybe 2

Yes, ocarina of time is the first and only Zelda game with a map and compass.

biglittlehead 12

It the only Zelda game I've ever played so I wouldn't know. I just got my 3rd and I'm fairly new to nintendo.

CabooseWins 0

112- That's a badass pic. Very awesome.

No it isn't. Link to the past and Link's awakening had them as well. They were for Gameboy and Super Nintendo.

Afterwards have a review session followed up by a game of "i spy...".

dethmagnetic1 0

That means a lot coming from a guy with a default pic of a zebra ******* the neck of a giraffe -.-...

The compliment is always nice. Get the broom out of your ass.

That wasn't very nice, you sound like a bitch. Just calm your **** down please