By Anonymous - 05/05/2015 15:31 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 504
You deserved it 3 726

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Because the surgery won't hurt afterwards...

Time to have the talk with your daughter... And if that doesn't work, tell her that all surgeries like that require the doctors to get permission from parents no matter the age, and that she's going to have to wait for some years to come until she came have her first time.


I think your daughter is a little too young to worry about that in the first place

While I hope she puts off the actual act for a few years, I don't think it's really unreasonable to think about sex at 14. She's nearing the middle of puberty - it's gonna be on her mind and her friends will talk about it. Just need to make sure she has her facts straight.

I mean, I thought about driving when I was twelve. Just makes sense to look toward the future.

ChopSuey444 20

OP should just be glad her daughter is still a virgin at 14. Two girls in my grade already had children at that age.

I hate when people say "well so and so is too young to think about..." First of all, she's not having sex, and second of all, it's not unreasonable to think about the future and prepare yourself, even if she'll change her mind in the future. She isn't doing anything wrong, and guess what? Plenty of people start experimenting sexually between the ages of 14-16 and there isn't really anything you can do to stop that. All you can do is talk to your children and prepare them. It's not a bad thing that the daughter is thinking about future sexual encounters, it's a healthy and normal part of growing up. By no means is anyone ever too young to think about the future.

danceinconverse 25

Freaking preach!! I hate when people do that too, one of my biggest pet peeves. Like who are you to decide when people get to do or think about things? It's their body and their choice, doesn't mater if it's not a choice you would make personally. And the FML didn't even say she was going to lose her virginity any time soon, she was just planning for the future.

Hey.. Virginity confirmed, at least.

Because the surgery won't hurt afterwards...

as someone who essentially had that surgery after a painful first time; post surgery barely hurt at all

#90, your hymen was still intact after your first time? Sounds like you've got a fighter there!

#101 the hymen can still be intact after one or more times of sex. It doesn't have to be gone from the first time.

The hymen never fully goes away in the first place. It rips and tears and then heals over time.

Not *never*, it's just not nearly as common as people think.

danceinconverse 25

The hymen is never an indication whether you have had sex or not. It can "pop" from many non-sex related activities, such as gymnastics or horseback riding. And actually, if it rips during sex, you're doing it wrong. It means she's not stimulated enough, because the more turned on she is, the more it will stretch.

19990231 29

She'll figure out that any operation would require adult consent. And you need to talk to her about why she thinks she needs to have sex

Seriously? Why she needs to have sex? We're human. It's in our nature. We naturally crave sex because our body is ready to make a child. Same rules does not apply to asexual people.

"We're human" is actually kind of an argument in the other direction, because as humans one of our defining characteristics is the ability to make decisions that go AGAINST our animal instincts.

FMLusername969 21

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#88, she's trying to avoid pain. I don't recall hearing any woman say she misses her hymen and that she feels her body is mutilated. If it's going to get "mutilated" by sex anyway, I can see how the daughter would want to avoid the whole situation altogether.

82# Yeah, that's called not having sex with every random person you meet. That doesn't mean you should not have safe sex or worrying about sex, thinking about it, it's normal and we should start teaching kids about sex and not just say "don't have sex when you're too young because you'll get pregnant " and forget about the importance of sexual education. We should all be allowed to explore our sexuality no matter what race, gender or age we are. As long as it's safe sex we have no reason to worry. Let them be teenagers without anyone judging them sexually because of it.

Maybe it's time to have the talk with her?

Yarrachel 16

She isn't that informed. Removing the hymen won't make sex hurt less, that is a myth.

Actually #33, when I lost my virginity it hurt so much worse than my friend's, who didn't have a hymen, and we both have a high pain tolerance. Mine hurt so bad it took my breath away and caused me to involuntarily arch my back off the bed. Hers hurt, but she said not anywhere near that bad.

There's many variables that could cause that. Not being as aroused, size difference, heck your bodies are different.

I think it's time to have a talk with your daughter.......

Sounds like a sex talk is in order. A bit worrying that she thinks this at 14 but I suppose that specific issue isn't always covered in school sex talks so best to go over over it all. If she takes it slow and gradual it shouldn't really hurt. Hell, she might've already torn it and just not realised anyway.

It's actually not that worrying at all. A lot of my friends lost their virginity before they turned 13, I waited until I was 15 although the age of consent in the UK is 16.

@43 because waiting until you're 15 is sooo hard!

Don't be condescending. If she wanted to have sex at 15, that's her choice, you don't have to be a dick about it

You should have a sex talk with your kids before their friends do. Kids start getting those desires during puberty so thats when you need to discuss it, if you wait till you think they're old enough you might have already missed your chance.

dafuck happened to no sex until marriage?

That's nasty. I was an adult, not a dumb child rutting like a chimp. Condoms aren't foolproof, and babies should not be having babies.

43 - To clarify, I didn't mean she was too young to be thinking about sex, I meant as she's going to be thinking about it soon and should have talked about it already, she's too old to not know about her hymen. But as I said, I suppose some schools don't cover that

@70 just because it was her choice does not mean it was the right one, hell it wasn't even the legal one!

keirachuter 13

I wouldn't rush into things. Life is too short to be wasting precious moments such as your childhood.

I agree, but try convincing someone in the midst of their youth. Young people want to grow up, older people want to go back in time.

At least she's waiting. It may not be for the right reason but she's still waiting.

Why do ppl vote down comments ??? LOL ... Like ... This isn't even a bad comment.

This is why teaching children about their bodies is important