Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
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Top comments
Oppression_fml 19
We all gotta start somewhere...
A07 48
Cut him some slack OP, atleast he's trying, most guys don't even bother according to this site.
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Comments (154)
ChristinePi 36
I guess that's one way to help him... Just be patient OP. If you don't tell him, it makes sense he won't know what you like. Of course not knowing anatomy is a whole other story.
davek 36
Freezing... warmer... no cold again... warm... hot... OH GOD SO HOT
hornybathtub 12
at least he's not cheating
JKPwnage 27
Appropriately named...
outfielder55 17
But did he find it? That's the important part.
Deku_Cutie 12
this sounds like a line from Dinner For Schmucks
Just1Day 12
I'be been married nearly 20 years and I'm still unfortunately playing that game. I really really feel for you. :-(
VeganDarkLight 31
No offense, but have you ever tried to really tell and show him what you like? Maybe he just doesn't know. Of course it could also be that he simply doesn't care, but I refuse to believe you'd be married to somebody for such a long time who wouldn't want to satisfy you.
allplayedout 20
Would just showing him not have been faster? Although I don't understand how he (and so many others like him) never bothered to look up some basic sexual information before getting into it personally. I guess we can blame the fact that kids have no sex ed but **** nowadays for that head-scratcher of a problem.
burnthistown 20
Why play a game? Why not just show him where it was. YDI for being immature.
scice03 8
Oh sweetheart.. My condolences..