Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
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Top comments
Oppression_fml 19
We all gotta start somewhere...
A07 48
Cut him some slack OP, atleast he's trying, most guys don't even bother according to this site.
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Comments (154)
figure_of_bleach 0
So...where was it?
Jayme5011 5
He didn't know where it was ? Wtf?
Dean_Gulbarry 3
"arby's where's the beef" "a little to the left..."
KelpytheG 1
Ok. If he's THAT damn stupid, then obviously sex is not for him. I'm a 14 year old virgin and I know where the god damn ******** is
Our_name_ 14
Hot.. Hot !! Burning !!
Dustmop 18
Eh why not just put his hand there? Or point him the right direction I'm sure he'd be just as frustrated.
CankerSore 6
ok... but for how long?
MechanicalKid1 5
Don't be a douche. He could have completely not even tried...
trollmasterlol 4
I have never been able to find the ********
isaac_newton 17
I'm 16 and I know. How dumb is your boyfriend?