Intimacy: Like a virgin - FML

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Spicy

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 087

You deserved it 9 617

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Same thing different taste

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 940

You deserved it 3 064

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 787

You deserved it 6 723

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 816

You deserved it 8 736

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 431

You deserved it 7 327

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 18:50

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 918

You deserved it 9 834

Lost in the sauce

By klsdhjla - 15/02/2010 01:23 - United States

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 328

You deserved it 5 610

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 833

You deserved it 6 144

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 331

You deserved it 7 041

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 321

You deserved it 34 484

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 271

You deserved it 6 898

Next

Top comments

ridemyrocket 9

Tuesday 30 July 2013 8:59

Awe the poor kid lost his purity and now thinks he is going to hell.

emilie_gambii 9

Tuesday 30 July 2013 9:00

Poor guy :( maybe he wasn't ready. Premarital sex can be pretty devastating to some people if they weren't fully prepared for it. I'm sorry it was a bad experience, OP.

Comments

logankyng 15

Tuesday 30 July 2013 9:34

It kinda seems like he was pressured into something he didn't want to do in the first place .-.

krnthuy 6

Tuesday 30 July 2013 9:36

maybe he wanted to wait for marriage but gave into temptation...

Obey_StudBoii 23

Tuesday 30 July 2013 9:37

Not sure if OP is a man or woman,depending on the username. What I can say though is sorry your boyfriends first time wasn't good.

thesubbybubbies 9

Tuesday 30 July 2013 9:38

Haha

jw90 18

Tuesday 30 July 2013 9:39

Well it may have hurt his pride OP.

toooldforthis 19

Tuesday 30 July 2013 13:09

Or his bottom if op is a guy

longlivemetal911 15

Tuesday 30 July 2013 9:46

If he's religious, then I would assume you should have considered this a possibility; if not, then he was just feeling the pressure of losing his 'purity', and you should try to understand where he's coming from.

perdix 29

Tuesday 30 July 2013 10:05

You probably should have used lube. The friction in his asshole caused by your dry dick probably made him question his sexual orientation.

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 30 July 2013 10:20

"You'll find the shame is like the pain, you only feel it once." ~Dangerous Liaisons

SirEbro 7

Tuesday 30 July 2013 10:05

Maybe you were TOO good...

ciumegu 6

Tuesday 30 July 2013 10:15

Ehh..practice makes perfect.

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 30 July 2013 10:41

From his knees to his knees?

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The Top

Today, and for weeks now, I was sure my underwear was going missing. I found out why. My husband's brother has been stealing them whenever he visits, presumably to masturbate with. I literally caught him shoving an unwashed pair into his pocket he'd stolen from my laundry pile. Creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 66

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 167

You deserved it 2 954

The Top

Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 161

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 422

You deserved it 2 016

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 586

You deserved it 49 409

Today, I arrived at the airport two and a half hours early because I was expecting it to be busy. The line was long but I had plenty of time, until a woman complained about a fee for checked bags. I was next in line, and still managed to miss my flight because the woman caused such a big scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 102

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 307

You deserved it 11 924

Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 91