Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Spicy
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
I agree, your life sucks 62 972
You deserved it 9 595

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Awe the poor kid lost his purity and now thinks he is going to hell.

Poor guy :( maybe he wasn't ready. Premarital sex can be pretty devastating to some people if they weren't fully prepared for it. I'm sorry it was a bad experience, OP.

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Yea because he was thinking of god almighty while givin'-er. Don't judge me because I used a lower case "g" in god's name.

#46: |Don't judge me because I used a lower case "g" in gods name. 2edgy4me

Did he jump in shower after to wash off the "sin" of having sex? He's going to confession on Sunday- how many "hail marys" for that? I can see some poor shmo of a virgin thanking god for getting some, but actually he should be thanking you, and of course treating you amazing.

Lel so le funny XD 3edgy5me #sofunny XD I'm the first comment everybody look at me Stop

You're letting Marilyn Manson be your authority on well... Anything?

#46 woah...thug life man. What are you gonna do next? Brush your teeth, but not floss :O

Actually, it's "I'm not a slave to a god, that doesn't exist"

Now now children dont get religion involved as it might be offensive to some.

#46, I will judge your comment because it’s grammatically incorrect. You capitalize the “G” in “God” because it’s a proper noun, there is no correlation with your believes. It’s like how you would capitalize “Zeus” or “Allah” (Yay, second grade English lesson!). Second, being abstinent myself, I find some of the comments to be appalling. A man or women should have the right to choose to wait without being judged, just like how others should have the right to have sex before marriage without being judged. I would rather be a 40-year-old virgin than a whore. Don’t Judge me because I’m abstinent. OP, I’m not scolding you, but don’t you think you should know someone’s sexual preferences before you sleep with them?

Oh, Abby, you're hilarious! The way you say that people should have the right to have sex before marriage without being judged and then you say that you would rather be a 40-year-old virgin than a whore is just priceless. Anyone reading that would actually think you are close-minded enough to think those are the only two possibilities. Well done!

Awe the poor kid lost his purity and now thinks he is going to hell.

This is the best comment I've seen

Doesnt matter, had sex

Poor christian baby

@27: It seems not many people are familiar with this song, or don't care for it. Folks, this was meant to be funny! :)

Or we're sick of it being quoted on every FML related to sex.

He was crying because he busted too early and he was praying for his dick to stay hard...

@57 you do know that it's not just Christians that believe in God, right? Don't knock people just because they believe in God and you might not. He's going through at least a double or triple dilemma. Sex before marriage, possible sodemy and homosexuality. Have some compassion.

So, ridemyrocket, looking at your user name, I'm wondering. Are you OP?

Poor kid's gonna get butfucked by Satin.

I prefer to get buttfucked by velvet, but to each his own.

Or maybe he was worshipping her

Probably was playing "Age of Aquarius" in his head too.

Hahaha 40 year old virgin! such a weird ending!

Poor guy :( maybe he wasn't ready. Premarital sex can be pretty devastating to some people if they weren't fully prepared for it. I'm sorry it was a bad experience, OP.

She never said it was a bad experience.

Am I wrong in thinking OP is a man (based on his/her username)? And if so, this would not be just about premarital sex, but more of a matter of the boyfriend accepting his sexuality. And if I'm correct, then OP and his/her boyfriend need to do some talking. But again, I could be wrong. It just sounds like OP is calling himself(?) "JustSomeGuy" so...

Good point 26, and by the time I noticed that, I meant to change it to "Op" instead of "she" but it was too late to edit the comment.

the icon next to his name should give you a clue directing to the correct answer.

HAHA wow I can't believe I missed that. When other people make that mistake, I usually wonder why they do it. I guess it was because I jumped down to the comments, everyone was calling OP a she, and so I was distracted by the username? Anyways, at least now my doubts have been cleared, thanks for pointing out the blatantly obvious detail I missed (:

That icon wasnt there when I first commented. My apologies.

maybe the poor guy just had a foot cramp the whole time. those things can be a bitch

I like the way you think xD

Why does it have to be premarital sex? Sex in general can be devastating if you're not mentally prepared for it, married or not.

@11 are you retarded?...

#130: the aren't saying anything about sex after marriage because OP says boyfriend not husband that is why it's premarital sex

So is OP gay or not, in any case it's pretty fucked up...

At least he seemed to have enjoyed it.

I don't think he did if he ended up crying and praying...

Meaning he had seemed to enjoy it at first.

#5 Aren't you a little young to be posting pictures of you in your underwear and putting them on the net?

Sounds like they ran low on lube at the end though.

Maybe he felt guilty that he was enjoying it. Was he exclaiming "Oh God" out of pleasure and praying/crying in joy or was it one of those "How am I going to explain this to my Rabbi/Imam/Priest/Mother?"

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Why would anybody thumb down this comment!?

because its getting old....

You're cute and all but it's really getting old plus they already put this in here...

Damn, cock blocked by God. Don't worry OP you'll look back at this and laugh.

Haha, oh boyfriend, do you remember when your first time having sex was awful and triggered a breakdown and left you feeling horribly guilty? Those were the days...

Oh god! Oh god! The cake is a lie!

At least he didn't start speaking in tongues ... Right?

Maybe he did. Maybe his tongue had a private conversation with her vagina. :)

70- I don't think there's a "her" in this situation since OPs name is "JustSoneGuy"

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Who the hell says that during sex?

#15, Denise from Scrubs definately would.

you know.... op is.... a... guy........ right............?

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Such an awesome reference!