I'm alright, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack

By brokeandalone - 30/07/2013 05:09 - United States

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 317
You deserved it 3 436
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Top comments

Theclarksondales 8

That dickwaffle really deserves a punch in the face.

399 3
Chelsea_bella 20

Wow, that's not too smart of him.. He left a confession note to the crime and everything.

298 0

Comments

jw90 18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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ironichalibut 24

He already left though, I think the whole leaving card has been played already.

194 3
Theclarksondales 8

That dickwaffle really deserves a punch in the face.

399 3
LiGhTMaGiCk 18

Sounds painful too. Time to go buy a waffle iron?

51 1
Mobyman30 9

#4 I think what you meant to say was, "That dickwaffle really deserves a punch in the dick"

5 41
Fluffasuars_Rawr 15

I now have a new favorite word..thank you #4

27 1
Axipiter 24

No 49, I think what 4 meant to say was "That dickwaffle really deserves a punch in the face."

37 0
nature_girl_08 14

...I am stupidly excited to see someone use a random word I heard in a video XD

5 2
addioty 19

He deserves a swift kick to the uterus.

3 1
Chelsea_bella 20

Wow, that's not too smart of him.. He left a confession note to the crime and everything.

298 0
flashback.miss 28

Ahh! But now OP can bask in the comfort knowing that she'll have the last laugh while he faces punishment for fraud/theft.

101 0
TheDrifter 23

Unless it's a joint account. Marital asset fraud law is different than other sections of fraud law.

59 1
1PersonIsMyWorld 22

brilliant! op turn him in for the agony and financial debt he caused u!!! 27--and true but he already confessed to leaving her for another woman so basically he's asking for a divorce.

34 1
RedPillSucks 31

Draining the account shouldn't be fraud (not a lawyer) as they're still married. However, if they don't live in a "no-fault" divorce she may be entitled to more than half of the marital assets since hubby ran off with someone else.

21 1
crazytwinsmom 25

Although he may not have any assets if he had to use hers.

14 0
bjc216 6

Ummm unless its a joint account, using HER card that's under HER name is fraud as he is posing as her to use the card. He stole her identity and money, drained account or not.

19 1
GrapeJuice67 17

This was a bad plan on his part. GO GIT 'EM OP!

0 0
flashback.miss 28

I just, *hug*, best revenge is to move on and live your life to the fullest, and let the home wrecker keep your immature, heartless douche of an ex-husband.

115 4
1PersonIsMyWorld 22

ya im truly sorry op. :( we've all experienced it..well most of us. it sucks but I know youre strong enough to continue on. have a great life!

9 30
pistachiopanda 19

Hey! At least you have a note to show the judge!

167 1
AssTard 15

Good point, but the husband could easily deny it as his.

7 4
Soloman212 28

I sure hope that account wasn't listed under both your names so that you can nail the bastard!

106 0
Horsempeg 25

well she called it in right? so he is already screwed!

3 18
ironichalibut 24

If everything was purchased with your money,from the bank, couldn't you claim that all that stuff is yours? Then you could start a new life in Florida. Edit: I guess 8 is right, it could be a joint account..

38 4
plum_lovin 28

Wait... why would OP wanna start a life in Florida (the same place her douche of husband and his girlfriend started their life together)?

25 4
Gizmo4Evr 6

Love it - Douche Canoe! Lmao

10 8
dunker_fml 4

I love that term, douchecanoe, just rolls off the tongue.

8 2
jlmontgomery 11

I've learned 2 new words today....dickwaffle & douchecanoe....ya learn something new every day!

30 3
iAlissa 34

Asswagon, douchecanoe, twatwaffle.... Oh the endless possibilities...

15 3
mangoboy1 19

Your profile pic isn't you.

1 2
RoboCunnilingus 23

If you need help with the bodies, I know a guy who may or may not be me.

115 3
tigerisabelle 31

I know a place that may or may not be a graveyard, a gun that may or may not be a gun, and a bus for dead bodies that may or may not be a bus for dead bodies.

27 0
lollypop30001 19

I hope he gets Herpes asshole.

36 2
buddy51 23

Herpes Asshole is a particularly painful variant. I hope he gets full body herpes AND crabs!!

39 0