By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 21:18 - United States

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 783
You deserved it 12 889

Same thing different taste


ILoveMyArm 15

Me too, it is such a catastrophe. Sorry, I had to.

I see what you did there you crazy cat

A cat and dog getting along peacefully? This is groundbreaking.

Gothicbunnyx3 16

It's 2013 it's time for them to finally get along

If cats and dogs can get along. Why can't people?...

Holy shit I was reading this FML laughing my ass off Op's wording is priceless I love it! But, I divert. This does sound very painful I'm sorry op hopefully you heal up nicely

Gothicbunnyx3 16

What #99 said and opinionated and quick to judge.

126- Her pussy tried to make love, the claws kinda killed the mood though.

jedorr07 5

it took pussy on pussy scissoring a little too literally

U say that like it happens regularly???

jdimaria3 13

I'm a guy, and I for one would not enjoy seeing a girls pussy get attacked by a cat.

Thats would not be nice to look at at all. Even tho it is pussy on pussy

I think he/she meant the naked part. lol I wouldn't mind seeing that either.

Alright pussy vs pussy round 2. Place your bets.

I'm curious... What kind of insecurities do you guys Deal with? I always see tiny guys on here posing infront of the mirror half naked... Why? No one gives a shit about your 4 Pack or your 25 cm biceps. Not impressed.

psh i got a gut and i put a picture of me in my wifes bra and panties on and got told im not allowed to have it by the FML team ?

ILoveMyArm 15

That's odd, I thought dogs were ruff.

#13 that's not funny, that's messed up

#13 ur commet made my day I can't stoo laughing

brentman28 5

whats a stoo laughing never heard of that kind of laugh before

SwaggCapone 11

Thumbed down?... Oh right, no one understands sarcasm on Internet.... Right... #42 #170 I'm talking to you.

Did you hear about the dog that mauled that little girl so badly her face had to be reconstructed? Yup. Dogs sure are great.

Did you see the cat scratch the inside of its owner eyelid when all the owner did was put her face next to the cat's? I put my face up against my dog's face countless times, no injuries.

Damian95 16

Haha how did you comment twice? The anti flood protection usually prevents this type of atrocity. Just kidding both your comments are genuine.

Damian95 16

I mean uh... yea hope ya get better. Cats can turn into chainsaws real quick.

ILoveMyArm 15

I feel as though this is some form of ***********.

Sorry OP, but even as a woman I find that funny.

Really? I cringed. If this becomes an issue, start spraying ammonia on your privates. It might sting, but so does a mauled vajeeper.

I'm trying to think what would be worse for OP: ammonia being toxic or its smell? Hmmm. Tough choice.

Vajeeper... That's novel. Sounds like something Velma would call her lady bits.

vajeeper, that is so awesome! Much better than vajayjay. (Although I do have a friend named Jay and we all call him vajayjay, it's only funny because he's gay though.)

121 I personally like vagoo, but that comes from Least I Could Do. Somehow, it managed to catch on, at least among fans.

sematariux 7

Vajeepers creepers... Sounds like a **** spoof to me

I know my comment was completely random and not even helpful - but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to use the word vajeeper.

127 While I am not a fan, vagoo seems ingenious I love it!

DenBriZel 31

Sounds like something that would happen to me with my luck. FYL sorry OP!

Ouch! Couldn't you at least wear a pair of undies? Maybe the damage would have been lesser?

TheElBurrrito 21

If the pussy is as big as the one on your profile picture, it would suck either either way.

This seems like a master plan: waiting for an FML about cats so you can make comments about girls' ******* without seeming like a creep. Genius! Except that you do still sound a bit like a creep, so there's still work to be done.

TheElBurrrito 21

Hmmm.... I didn't mean for it to come off as creepy, but I can definitely see where you're coming from. Total miscalculation on my behalf, my mistake.

It was just a joke. Oh damn, now I feel bad. I'M the creep.