By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 21:18 - United States

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 754
You deserved it 12 876

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

God I hate it when that happens

Get a dog. They lick. Not maul.


God I hate it when that happens

ILoveMyArm 15

Me too, it is such a catastrophe. Sorry, I had to.

I see what you did there you crazy cat

A cat and dog getting along peacefully? This is groundbreaking.

Gothicbunnyx3 16

It's 2013 it's time for them to finally get along

If cats and dogs can get along. Why can't people?...

Because people are dicks.

Holy shit I was reading this FML laughing my ass off Op's wording is priceless I love it! But, I divert. This does sound very painful I'm sorry op hopefully you heal up nicely

"Digress" damn auto correct

Gothicbunnyx3 16

What #99 said and opinionated and quick to judge.

Make love not war

Make love and war

love is a battlefield


126- Her pussy tried to make love, the claws kinda killed the mood though.

jedorr07 5

it took pussy on pussy scissoring a little too literally

U say that like it happens regularly???

what guys would give to see that.

jdimaria3 13

I'm a guy, and I for one would not enjoy seeing a girls pussy get attacked by a cat.

Thats would not be nice to look at at all. Even tho it is pussy on pussy

I think he/she meant the naked part. lol I wouldn't mind seeing that either.

I'm a girl and I'd love to see that.

Alright pussy vs pussy round 2. Place your bets.

I'm curious... What kind of insecurities do you guys Deal with? I always see tiny guys on here posing infront of the mirror half naked... Why? No one gives a shit about your 4 Pack or your 25 cm biceps. Not impressed.

subiedude08 17


zanoty 17

4 pac?

What bout 2 pac?

psh i got a gut and i put a picture of me in my wifes bra and panties on and got told im not allowed to have it by the FML team ?

firstbasemaster 15

Did you shout at that pussy

Cum kitty kitty! or should you swear fuck pussy pussy!!

You really shouldn't say either, 171.

maskedman98 6

cat figh ;D

Get a dog. They lick. Not maul.

That would be beastiality.

Bestiality for the win!! Lol

ILoveMyArm 15

That's odd, I thought dogs were ruff.

#13 that's not funny, that's messed up

#13 ur commet made my day I can't stoo laughing

brentman28 5

whats a stoo laughing never heard of that kind of laugh before

SwaggCapone 11

#42 ya don't say

Thumbed down?... Oh right, no one understands sarcasm on Internet.... Right... #42 #170 I'm talking to you.

Did you hear about the dog that mauled that little girl so badly her face had to be reconstructed? Yup. Dogs sure are great.

Did you see the cat scratch the inside of its owner eyelid when all the owner did was put her face next to the cat's? I put my face up against my dog's face countless times, no injuries.

Damian95 16

Haha how did you comment twice? The anti flood protection usually prevents this type of atrocity. Just kidding both your comments are genuine.

Damian95 16

I mean uh... yea hope ya get better. Cats can turn into chainsaws real quick.

ILoveMyArm 15

I feel as though this is some form of beastiality.

Sorry OP, but even as a woman I find that funny.

Really? I cringed. If this becomes an issue, start spraying ammonia on your privates. It might sting, but so does a mauled vajeeper.

I'm trying to think what would be worse for OP: ammonia being toxic or its smell? Hmmm. Tough choice.

Vajeeper... That's novel. Sounds like something Velma would call her lady bits.

vajeeper, that is so awesome! Much better than vajayjay. (Although I do have a friend named Jay and we all call him vajayjay, it's only funny because he's gay though.)

121 I personally like vagoo, but that comes from Least I Could Do. Somehow, it managed to catch on, at least among fans.

sematariux 7

Vajeepers creepers... Sounds like a porn spoof to me

I know my comment was completely random and not even helpful - but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to use the word vajeeper.

127 While I am not a fan, vagoo seems ingenious I love it!

DenBriZel 31

Sounds like something that would happen to me with my luck. FYL sorry OP!

Ouch! Couldn't you at least wear a pair of undies? Maybe the damage would have been lesser?

TheElBurrrito 21

If the pussy is as big as the one on your profile picture, it would suck either either way.

This seems like a master plan: waiting for an FML about cats so you can make comments about girls' pussies without seeming like a creep. Genius! Except that you do still sound a bit like a creep, so there's still work to be done.

TheElBurrrito 21

Hmmm.... I didn't mean for it to come off as creepy, but I can definitely see where you're coming from. Total miscalculation on my behalf, my mistake.

It was just a joke. Oh damn, now I feel bad. I'M the creep.

That really sucks op!

Wish there was a button for that