Selfie Privilege = Revoked

By FML Approved - 06/09/2017 03:28

Tsk tsk tsk...

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Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Top comments

Rammer3500 23

Wednesday 6 September 2017 3:53

If the worst thing in your day is running over your smartphone with your Lamborghini I'd say you're still having s great day

Mark Wilson 5

Wednesday 6 September 2017 4:10

That ain't a Lamborghini, It's a Pagani Huayra

Comments

Rammer3500 23

Wednesday 6 September 2017 3:53

If the worst thing in your day is running over your smartphone with your Lamborghini I'd say you're still having s great day

Mark Wilson 5

Wednesday 6 September 2017 4:10

That ain't a Lamborghini, It's a Pagani Huayra

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Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 178

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Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML

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Today, my boyfriend went to see his ex, who is still friends with him, at her house to comfort her because her mom died. I found out after doing some Facebook stalking that her mom is very much alive. I called him on the phone to call him out on his lie. He responded that he meant her “stepmother” not biological mother. Right. FML

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Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

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Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

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Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

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Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

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Today, I spent 45 minutes getting my toddler into a cute outfit for family photos. As soon as we arrived at the photographer's studio, he made direct eye contact with me, pulled off his pants, and ran screaming into the background of someone else's shoot. He's never looked happier. FML

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