By skinnybitch - Denmark - Copenhagen Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML I agree, your life sucks 33835 You deserved it 6525 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unknown - United States - Tulare Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 57870 You deserved it 4467 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 33433 You deserved it 16700 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - India Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 31829 You deserved it 6024 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noname - United States Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML I agree, your life sucks 21599 You deserved it 32721 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ToiletRoll - Australia - Frankston Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML I agree, your life sucks 31233 You deserved it 2733 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By don't cry over spilled milk - United States - Elmendorf Afb Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML I agree, your life sucks 11130 You deserved it 1407 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML I agree, your life sucks 42125 You deserved it 3436 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML I agree, your life sucks 28986 You deserved it 2740 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jjh99q - United States Today, I stayed until 11 PM washing, wiping, and mopping up the entire restaurant. I forgot to clock in. FML I agree, your life sucks 3355 You deserved it 645 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rusrs - United Kingdom Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML I agree, your life sucks 26314 You deserved it 2208 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Notadrugdealer So I got that goin' for me, which is nice... Today, I was just browsing Facebook when my friend sent me a GoFundMe link. Someone wrote a page saying I killed myself and that we need money for funeral services. People are actually donating to it. FML I agree, your life sucks 4491 You deserved it 338 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maribel - United States Today, I got my beautiful daughter ready to be a flower girl for the first time. A flower girl in the wedding of her father, my ex-husband, and the woman he cheated on me with. FML I agree, your life sucks 51451 You deserved it 4093 234 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lance - Australia Today, I was pulled over by a cop and was fined $210 for making an illegal u-turn. When the cop finished writing my ticket and hopped in his car, he made the same u-turn. FML I agree, your life sucks 48683 You deserved it 7441 261 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fail - United States Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML I agree, your life sucks 45759 You deserved it 2996 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 31860 You deserved it 8865 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By walkingdictionary - Canada - Toronto Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML I agree, your life sucks 17594 You deserved it 36790 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks dad - 1/8/2020 02:02 In my day… Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML I agree, your life sucks 1799 You deserved it 238 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mazzam - France Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML I agree, your life sucks 30165 You deserved it 18499 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blahblahblah - 15/4/2020 20:00 Heart of Glass Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML I agree, your life sucks 1543 You deserved it 178 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By redheadmess - 20/7/2020 02:01 Pay up Today, my grandfather sent me a bill from when I had to live with him in foster care. I apparently owe him 62k for shampoo, food, etc. FML I agree, your life sucks 1851 You deserved it 95 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML I agree, your life sucks 18439 You deserved it 27141 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Greece Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML I agree, your life sucks 60571 You deserved it 3805 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EdwinOEF - United Arab Emirates Today, I flew to Dubai, en route to my new job in Afghanistan. Both of my bags were lost, my debit card was frozen in London, the next flight was cancelled, and I can't get a hotel room. I'm in the richest city in world with no money and no room. Happy New Year. FML I agree, your life sucks 39567 You deserved it 3016 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fmyoffice - United Kingdom Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML I agree, your life sucks 33756 You deserved it 2745 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idontgetit - Australia - Brisbane Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML I agree, your life sucks 13926 You deserved it 30508 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML I agree, your life sucks 55231 You deserved it 3043 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 26846 You deserved it 3915 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cacheson - 5/3/2020 03:02 Trip Advisor rating: 5 turds Today, I checked into a hotel for a work trip. When I walked in, the sheets and bath mat were stained, and there was soap-encrusted hair stuck in my folded towel. When I got back later in the day, all my stuff was gone because they apparently thought I'd checked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 1620 You deserved it 103 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/8/2020 23:01 - United States Say my name, say my name Today, after being unemployed for over four months, I got a call from a company I've wanted to work for for over 2 years. After they were about to set up an interview, they called me by a different name. After correcting them, they hung up on me. Turns out they had the wrong number. FML I agree, your life sucks 1919 You deserved it 116 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML I agree, your life sucks 118978 You deserved it 6398 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By May - 10/1/2021 20:01 Cart Narcs will get ya! Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 736 You deserved it 163 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By catlady - United Kingdom Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML I agree, your life sucks 30697 You deserved it 8479 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoMoney4Me - United States - York Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML I agree, your life sucks 26671 You deserved it 3945 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eggman 583 - United States - Massapequa Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was, "trying to change her." A week ago I asked her to stop talking to the 6 guys that have all previously asked her for nudes. FML I agree, your life sucks 12466 You deserved it 1159 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By This guy - United States - Jackson Today, my teacher gave me a 0% on my personal narrative in my writing class. His only comment on the whole paper was, "Too long, didn't read." FML I agree, your life sucks 27892 You deserved it 2540 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Blindjac Today was my moms wedding and I was the maid of honor! I was so excited to walk down the isle with my mom, but the church was so dry I got a bloody nose 5 minutes before going down. I couldn’t go down the isle or watch my mom go down either. I had to stay in the back and hold my nose up. FML I agree, your life sucks 2159 You deserved it 173 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML I agree, your life sucks 51849 You deserved it 9571 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By :| - United States - Philadelphia Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML I agree, your life sucks 46060 You deserved it 2995 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ljcxo17 - United States Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML I agree, your life sucks 48128 You deserved it 4536 229 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rammer3500 | 23 #7537912 - Wednesday 6 September 2017 3:53 If the worst thing in your day is running over your smartphone with your Lamborghini I'd say you're still having s great day Send a private message 14 0 Reply
By Mark Wilson | 5 #7537922 - Wednesday 6 September 2017 4:10 That ain't a Lamborghini, It's a Pagani Huayra Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By Rammer3500 | 23 #7537912 - Wednesday 6 September 2017 3:53 If the worst thing in your day is running over your smartphone with your Lamborghini I'd say you're still having s great day Send a private message 14 0 Reply
Reply Mark Wilson | 5 #7537922 - Wednesday 6 September 2017 4:10 That ain't a Lamborghini, It's a Pagani Huayra Send a private message 4 0 Reply
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 769 You deserved it 78 15 Comments
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 686 You deserved it 63 2 Comments