Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mother is mad at me because I dared, yes DARED, to go out with a girl who stands up to her instead of just meekly doing what she tells her. Which should tell you exactly what sort of woman my mother is, so you know this FML is just the tip of my lifelong misery iceberg. FML
Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML
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Top comments
williamcarter93 13
Hypocrites at their finest. Anything is okay for them to do with their religion as their excuse but as soon as someone else does it they're immoral, hellbound people.
DocBastard 40
I hear there are lots of naughty, naughty girls at bible camp.
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Comments (228)
alyssamorgan 1
Ah, as my grandma is. I have gay friends and she tells me that I need to find Jesus (because my friends are gay?) even though my grandpa isn't the father of my mom. She won't admit it, even 50 years later.
mariet_fml 23
Are you my brother, OP?
foreverdice 5
Yikes! Sorry, OP. Religious fanaticism and hypocrisy aren't a good mix. It sounds like your mom could use some serious therapy.
myth454 2
Can't argue with a moral relativist!
kayaker83 4
****** can be reborn too ;)
Bowlcuts 1
Tell her you love satan
osm1989_fml 6
You know what I haven't seen on here in a bit? An FML where the comments get shut down because people get too carried away about religion or homosexuality or some other "touchy subject." ...but I feel it coming on...
Quest_ 13
And when you say 'admiring a photo' do you actually mean furiously ejaculating all over it with your sister's underwear draped over your face?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Wow. You should have some respect for her instead of talking crap about her behind her back. If she caught you admiring a photo then just shut up, don't talk back and deal with it. Point being? Don't talk crap about someone who brought you into this world. She could be here today and gone tomorrow.
jewelia13 12
See, I was going to vote "I agree, your life sucks", but then I saw you called your mum a "wh*re". YDI.
Obey_StudBoii 23
I was thinking the exact same thing bout OP.
THE_A_TEEN 28
So cheating on your spouse isn't considered whorish now?
stoptrying 9
He deserves to have a ***** of a mother because he's honest? What kinda ****** up logic is that?
_wraith 15
Implying that you don't judge your parents is ludicrous. Of course you do - we all do. He's just more honest about it. I'd lose a lot of respect for my mom too if were cheated on her spouse.