Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML
Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML
Today, I was a little grumpy. I tried my best to not take it out on other people, but then I encountered that ONE person who doesn't realize that sometimes people are just in a bad mood, and they proceed to give you a hard time over nothing. That person was my mom. And then later my dad. Now I'm grounded. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
"****" is vile? I'm sure there are some FML commenters here who could show her what vile language really is.
Comet_Candy 23
I'm sorry, but I don't believe you ever forced her mouth open and manipulated her vocal chords. FYL, OP.
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Comments (58)
BrianWinter 1
You need to stop making us comment as well
abhi95 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't comment then.. You're being like OP's mum.. Nobody here forced you to do anything. -.-
BluKatz 11
#16, I'm pretty sure that it was a joke.
Rainhawk94 27
Seriously if my parents ground me for stupid reasons i just follow that restriction
flashback.miss 28
geez, . hopefully when she cools down she'll apologize.
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
She would! They're Canadians! ;)
Nyx_fml 23
"****" is vile? I'm sure there are some FML commenters here who could show her what vile language really is.
TresAmusant 11
Hey, if OP is grounded anyway, why not test some of those on mum?
lilhellian 27
Hell just tell her to google "blumpkin"
edanielleh 21
I grew up in a pretty strict christian household and my mom is shocked if anyone drops an f bomb. We are talking physically taken back, look of horror on her face, complete silence shocked. Perhaps op's mom is like that.
CammyGal 26
Consider yourself lucky haha, 16 years later and my mom still gets offended at the word "butt".
Kyuzomi 12
My mom still says she will cut my tongue off if I stick it out to mock someone. Those crazy asian superstitions.
johnpaisley 6
Yea I don't ******* understand how **** is a shitty word that bitch is a shitty ****,****
TheCrispyCat 20
31, it was OP's mom decision to drop it...
liaRawr 9
Some households yes
Kiki242 19
That's the sign that you need to hide away from her for the next week or so.
niallo 23
I think that's close to the definition of grounded, with a few things tagged on.
awilliams44 9
Tell her to look on the internet at the language ppl use no a days....
DocBastard 40
I no rite? Its jus terrible how ppl talk no a days. Lol
niallo 23
Sry Dock. I dent speck Engleish vuri will.
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Lal Doc. Ahl zhe dud woz mis won lehtar. Nd u ripp her uh knew 1.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I think it's partly the use of "ppl" when you can just as easily type people... Some ppl... Geez
Alexis2742 31
•****• your life
Comet_Candy 23
I'm sorry, but I don't believe you ever forced her mouth open and manipulated her vocal chords. FYL, OP.
xnyletak 17
Looks like its someone's time of the month.
DocBastard 40
So if I'm understanding you correctly, any time a woman is pissed off, she's menstruating? You've unravelled the millennia-old mystery of women. Hats off to you.
honeymoonroyale 20
Thank you.
junkman6 22
So for future reference, "when mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy." It's a hard lesson we all learn sooner or later OP.
zoepie 7
Show her the internet, vile only begins to define it. Sorry OP.
somuchfeels 11
Better yet, introduce her to 4chan.