Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/9/2009 15:20 - United States

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

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adamas117 tells us more :

OP here. it was late when i sent the text, and wasnt really focusing on what i was doing. because the text was about my date, i was thinking about her, and subconciously went to her name instead of my friend's. its all good though. i explained the situation to her, and she understood.

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

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By loser - 20/7/2009 22:39 - Canada

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/6/2016 23:24 - United States - Winder

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

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By Des - 11/5/2019 18:00

Today, it’s been 3 weeks since I had an interview for an internship this summer. I’ve applied to over 40 internships over the past 6 months, and this was the only interview I’ve had. I banked my entire summer on this. FML

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By anonymous - 25/2/2016 21:55 - United States

Today, my husband, who has been in a coma for 5 weeks, woke up. When I went to visit him, the first thing he did was try and continue the argument we had been having before he crashed the car. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/2/2016 22:19

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

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By crayons128 - 24/1/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

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By Noname - 20/2/2009 05:30 - South Africa

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 23:47 - United States

Today, I was accepted to college and received a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with my parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelled at about how I wasn't allowed to go there because my boyfriend might go there. FML

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By FlowerPower - 20/7/2009 21:32 - United States

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/4/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

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By MUemma - 26/2/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me. He told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. I was so angry that as he left, I started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. I picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. It missed my ex and hit my car. FML

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By Lola - 20/12/2008 12:23 - France

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

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By Sean - 9/10/2010 20:54 - United States

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

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By Wetarse - 15/3/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laughing at the new granite stool sculpture our work put in the office garden. I said to my colleagues for a laugh that I'd be the first to sit on it. Turns out it was a bird bath. FML

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By Just Awkward - 21/4/2017 02:00

Today, I was in class rubbing my hands together. The lecturer thought that because my hands were up, I had a question. I replied with, "Oh, no I was just playing with myself." Just as it left my mouth, I realised what I was saying. FML

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By TanjinaRubbaiyat - 15/1/2010 08:49 - Bangladesh

Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/4/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/10/2012 15:17 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

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By Cate - 5/11/2009 10:25 - Australia

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

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By Anon - 22/4/2013 07:19 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

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By unzucht - 30/5/2012 16:45 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

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By smidge - 2/6/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I got a call from an ad agency offering me a job. I was so excited, because I've been looking for work for a few months now and really wanted to work for them. An hour later, they called apologizing, because they'd made a mistake and offered the job to the wrong person. FML

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By sumhub94 - 14/5/2013 16:48 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/7/2012 05:47 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

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By Monty Python's Flying Circus - 19/5/2017 04:00

Today, it's been three weeks since my son found my old red dress and hat outfit in the attic, and like every day since then, he has been putting it on and bursting into rooms without warning and shouting, "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" He's almost 18 and going to college in September. FML

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By RAS266 - 26/6/2017 00:00

Today, a water snake slithered into our pool. He can have it. FML

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By shoopbadeewoop - 8/3/2014 21:43

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/12/2014 20:02 - United States - Pennsville

Today, my parents refused to give my daughter her Christmas presents as an act of revenge against her father. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/3/2011 17:18 - Germany

Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML

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By Ravhi Karia - 3/4/2015 13:41 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/12/2010 08:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

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By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

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By lifedamntough - 28/6/2009 11:49 - Singapore

Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML

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By Anonymous - 28/3/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/2/2012 18:07 - India

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

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By Rednbumpy - 18/1/2017 08:00

Today, I was getting ready to meet my boyfriend. We haven't seen each other in a month so I decided to shave my body hair, even though I have really sensitive skin and usually end up getting rashes after a few days. His flight got cancelled and he won't be back for another two days. FML

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By Clumsy76 - 20/4/2018 15:00

Today, I moved into a new downstairs flat. I promptly fell down said stairs. I have a broken pelvis now and can't walk or go down steps for 3 months. FML

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By judge not, ye cunt - 21/12/2012 23:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML

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By The greatest Illusion ever - 28/10/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

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Top comments

By Monado | 0

#574482 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:14

Well I guess there are going to be three big boobs at that dance.

By adamas117 | 0

#576602 - Sunday 20 September 2009 19:26

OP here. it was late when i sent the text, and wasnt really focusing on what i was doing. because the text was about my date, i was thinking about her, and subconciously went to her name instead of my friend's. its all good though. i explained the situation to her, and she understood.

COMMENTS

By playnejayne | 0

#574474 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:12

thats your own fault!!

Reply

godsrightnutsack | 0

#574518 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:29

haha.
that shoulda been easy to play off right?

Reply

dude_stfu | 0

#574635 - Saturday 19 September 2009 21:26

lol.. that's awkward when you see her.

Reply

chipmunk95 | 0

#574719 - Saturday 19 September 2009 22:23

PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

Reply

Xuphra | 0

#947648 - Monday 15 March 2010 0:26

Priceless.

Reply

TheFunnyzach | 3

#3983025 - Thursday 2 February 2012 20:20

Yeah, he he was a nimrod.

Reply

AFloppyWetWhale | 6

#4952801 - Thursday 20 September 2012 12:37

14 - what I always do whenever that happens is tell them my friend took my phone, then write "jsnxksns" to imply that we're fighting over it. It works :)

By 100lol | 0

#574481 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:14

There's a lot of wrong- texting FMLs for the past months.

Reply

No_Heart | 0

#575307 - Sunday 20 September 2009 3:14

Why do people find it so hard?

Reply

kashman95 | 1

#1026334 - Thursday 10 June 2010 16:30

what's wrong with big boobs a lot

Reply

Blacksabbath211 | 9

#1131968 - Saturday 24 July 2010 6:40

at op: ydi for calling them "boobs". wat r u, a girl or seven years old?

By Monado | 0

#574482 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:14

Well I guess there are going to be three big boobs at that dance.

Reply

Witchcraft_fml | 4

#574489 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:17

Win.

Reply

sublime93 | 0

#574493 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:17

+1

Reply

sanjizzle99 | 0

#574511 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:27

lol owned

Reply

TJStarzZ | 8

#575647 - Sunday 20 September 2009 6:52

Lolwinburn!

But seriously, how stupid do you have to be to mistext someone? I mean, go to your Contacts, scroll down, select, then text. Either people need to learn to read, or America's next generation is doomed. D:

Reply

PandaPandaPandaX | 0

#575790 - Sunday 20 September 2009 8:44

I was talking about a guy (he was leaving school early and i was telling my friend) and I accidentally sent it to the guy. We laughed it off and got over it. It happens.

Reply

assiram317 | 0

#967115 - Wednesday 24 March 2010 3:42

hahahaha I get it

Reply

hilobude | 0

#2368855 - Monday 18 April 2011 23:04

p

By heyyimkell | 2

#574483 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:15

HAHAHA OH DAMN.
YDI though. Don't you look at the name before you text someone?
Hopefully she'll laugh it off when you explain it to her, and she's not one of those girls who find that stuff offensive.
Good luck, OP.

By Exiro2 | 0

#574484 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:15

This is why you first choose WHO you text, and then actually text that person.

By ithedarkone | 0

#574485 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:15

Lol its cool dude play it off bro... WOW don't panic off the message come up with a quick white lie... Jeez whats with you people and these little mistakes you say something that's not even a big deal and ready to confess everything. I would hate to see you in a interrogation. lol DID YOU DO IT! YOU: yes i did it i did it i can show how i did it where i did it what time i did it who i did it with whats her name phone number blood time social security number... lmfao

Reply

sublime93 | 0

#574504 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:23

That was weird

Reply

silentlinguist | 0

#576158 - Sunday 20 September 2009 15:35

"blood time"??

Reply

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#5854773 - Tuesday 11 February 2014 10:53

7:30 AM positive.

By chellinha93 | 0

#574496 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:19

just pray she takes it as a little joke or something LOL

By laurr_rawrs | 0

#574498 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:20

you deserve it for being stupid & not reading. it's not that complicated.
and your life deff isn't that fucked bc of a text accident.

By RatIsKing | 0

#574524 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:32

lol at #12 XD

By WetDream_fml | 0

#574529 - Saturday 19 September 2009 20:35

Big deal?