Intimacy, Sex and Gross: Feed me with your kiss - FML

Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Spicy

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 801

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Same thing different taste

The geyser

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Spicy

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 265

You deserved it 1 578

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 404

You coming?

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 805

You deserved it 8 867

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 23 799

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 1 192

Mission successful

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 299

Too much feeling!

By buckerooo - 03/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 936

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 012

You deserved it 1 791

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Spicy

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 178

You deserved it 8 661

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 September 2021 13:23

That snot sexy!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 September 2021 13:23

That snot sexy!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 090

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 051

You deserved it 1 434

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 174

You deserved it 5 428

Today, I learned that my 13 year-old daughter has been wearing the same pad for a week “because there’s no blood on it.” When I told her that it's still disgusting, she tried to defend herself be saying that, "no one ever told her how long she could wear it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 2 859

Today, because of my new job, I'm so tired I can’t think straight anymore. Long hours to make a sterling first impression? Nope. I haven’t even started working yet, I’m just exhausted because it all stresses me to the point I can’t sleep at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 267

Today, after falling down an incredibly expansive DNA test rabbit hole, I found out that my first girlfriend was actually related to me. I can’t believe I’ve lived what I always thought was a disgusting and unrealistic porn trope: teen lesbian incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 289

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and someone had left their dirty tampon rolled up in toilet paper on the top of the paper dispenser. I felt obligated to dispose of it, so the next person didn't think I left it, because there was a line for the stalls. Fuck you, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 200