Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my horror movie-obsessed girlfriend hit a new level of crazy when she asked me to dress up as Ghostface during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
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Top comments
lulubelles 33
Did you Scream?
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Painful times a-head, my friend.
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Comments (125)
trellz17 19
Why was she watching the movie? She's supposed to be busy
buddy51 23
Has she recently learned the art of the ******* from her grandmother?
jjmiller1001 17
ouch!
phamous 1
Dude, that blows!
Lilo4life 26
You should have thought about the consequences of this sticky situation ahead of time
MacMonster 10
How is it a sticky situation? It never said he finished..
Tupelo_Honey 30
So I guess it turns out horror movies and blow jobs don't go together so well, huh?
PerditaDessa 38
They do if you've got a girl who's harder to scare.
youllnvrkno 8
This comment had me laughing so hard. You sir, win!
Obey_StudBoii 23
YDI. Who the f#$% watches a horror film while their getting head? Next time you'll know better.
LaLince 40
YDI for two reasons. For watching a movie when receiving head. For your nickname..
thatsucks42 4
Since you seem to want us to point it out *got