Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my horror movie-obsessed girlfriend hit a new level of crazy when she asked me to dress up as Ghostface during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
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Top comments
lulubelles 33
Did you Scream?
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Painful times a-head, my friend.
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Comments (125)
Pixiemels 19
Amityville?
adamlawl 6
Kinky. ;)
umyeahh 13
"my gf was giving me head during a horror flick" Me - "this is gonna be good" ;D
thardtke 3
I hope she made it up for you!
Jharrist89 12
I hope she was at least cradling.
nicopo_fml 11
Hey, at least you still have a penis. Bite marks go away, bitten off penis never comes back.
Drackx_fml 5
That's a stupid thing to do in the first place. Getting head during a horror flick, that's just asking to get your **** bitten off.
xs4u 13
that is the most unrealistic and idiotic lie i've ever heard
beanthemouse 13
Honestly, YDI. Who wants to do anything sexually during a horror flick (unless its your fetish). What did you expect?
thenewgirl29 20
I don't understand why people don't just turn off the tv when they are getting intimate with someone. I think I would be insulted if someone was paying attention to a movie while I was going down on them. Unless we were watching ****. :-)
dwc2134 5
Sometimes it just happens. I've had moments where I/we were a little too into it to bother turning off the television/movie.