Intimacy: FML: Uncensored

FML: Uncensored

By Cliché... or Touché? - 03/08/2017 02:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 838

You deserved it 62 068

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/01/2010 10:16 - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 13 807

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 213

You deserved it 396

SCREAM!

By nah - 10/03/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, my horror movie-obsessed girlfriend hit a new level of crazy when she asked me to dress up as Ghostface during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 239

Right in the pecker

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 462

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 864

You deserved it 754

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 314

You deserved it 8 723

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 267

You deserved it 29 218

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 604

You deserved it 90 928

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 354

You deserved it 3 417

By pussyface96 - 19/09/2012 09:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 604

You deserved it 44 525

lulubelles 33

Sunday 17 March 2013 16:07

Did you Scream?

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 17 March 2013 16:10

Painful times a-head, my friend.

Comments

sugarshane007 20

Sunday 17 March 2013 18:35

58! You're such a grammar nazi!

FlyingPie 17

Sunday 17 March 2013 18:39

This could spawn a new type of movie: Whorror

Pensu 12

Sunday 17 March 2013 18:48

Sorry OP but you really should have seen that one coming.

KixiSummer 10

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:22

I moderated this one

MeowZebraMeow 7

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:24

How would you not know that your girlfriend isn't a fan of horror movies? Maybe she was just pissed that you forgot and decided to seek revenge.

Mr_Satan 11

Monday 18 March 2013 0:33

If that's the case, then his girlfriend is a flatout bitch. There is only one reason any guy deserves his dick bitten, and that's if he's a rapist.

BrotherPhil 35

Tuesday 10 April 2018 2:14

Or if he enjoys that sort of thing.

MeowZebraMeow 7

Monday 18 March 2013 1:35

84 - Or if he's, um, Satan...

egrudy 9

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:24

Great movie !

Numerion 6

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:51

At least you get a head...

Zen_Mei 17

Sunday 17 March 2013 20:42

At the end of the day you DID get a bj

sig4life 18

Sunday 17 March 2013 21:14

Talk about branding. You have now been claimed sir.

AttentionSeeker 6

Sunday 17 March 2013 21:57

She was just seeing if you were paying attention to the move ;)

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 31 952

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You deserved it 1 446

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I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 248

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I agree, your life sucks 28 571

You deserved it 5 184