By dtack2tack - 09/07/2015 13:42 - United States
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He sounds like he's got a serious male superiority complex thing going on. making you quit your job would make you dependent on him. Feeling entitled to take on another lover and bs you about how he's the one providing for the both of you in order to justify his actions. I feel like this shouldn't even have to be said but please don't reproduce with him.
I had an ex who made comments just like this, eventually he manipulated me to a point where I couldn't leave the house without him, I was basically a slave to cook and clean etc. It is a very bad place to be and it took me a long time to heal from that. Be strong OP and do what makes YOU happy, not what someone else tells you to.
Looks like it's time you went back on the market. Once a cheater always a cheater. Good luck, op.
I disagree. Although the saying sounds good and seems to fit, there are plenty of people that have cheated and have gone on to grow up, realize how their actions horribly affected the other person, actually regret their actions and go on to have very committed relationships. I bet there are quite a few guys that used to cheat in high school or college and ended up changing their ways. People can change, granted it's hard and most people don't want to put in the effort and therefore remain the same and continue to live their life the same; but it can be done. I'm not saying op should stay with this guy, I sure wouldn't, but I am saying that, that saying isn't always true.
He "made" you quit your job? That should have been a red flag from the beginning.
This is financial abuse. Yes, that's a thing. It comes in many forms, but in this case the abuser has sabotaged OP's career to make her financially dependent so she'll feel trapped in the relationship and tolerate bullshit such as infidelity. This exact situation has played out in so many relationships. OP, you are in an abusive relationship. I promise, it will only get worse. Get out now while you can before things escalate to physical abuse (if they haven't already) and he finds more extreme ways to trap you. The sooner you leave an abusive relationship, the easier it is.
^This. You need to make sure that you are making your own decisions and that you are happy. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I have been there and looking back there were a lot of times like this where I thought my ex was doing something for "us" when actually it was completely selfish and controlling. Abuse isn't always physical, please don't let it escalate.