Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
LizetteBerenice 22
Asshole
Wizardo 33
The double standards in this post blows, seriously get a load of this dick...
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Comments (210)
natalieeliza 11
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want, besides a *******. If you are looking for sympathy, I can tell you I don't have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for men like you. If you go down on the lady now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Ayezed 10
One of the greatest FML comments of all time.
martin998877 12
What a shame that amazing comment wasn't at the top for more people to see it
8oded8 8
I can help you if you want...
KhrystallDaBest 15
This has happened to me before.
JBChristian 47
... You're 14.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
he has testicles so he's a man already...
manasstalker 7
I don't really feel like he's an asshole for saying no (Immediately asking for oral himself though? A little yeah.) He has every right not to do something he is uncomfortable with! If a woman doesn't want to do something sexual it's her choice and as easy as it can be to forget it should be 100% the same with men. While I'm not usually quick to just on the break bandwagon if your really interested in receiving oral I think it would be in both of your best interest to do so. Oral can be very important to a woman's pleasure for sex, I know for myself it can vastly improve my mood leading to better sex (and makes it more comfortable for me too). If he 100% just does not like it then you just might not be a compatible partner for you. And as has been mentioned hygiene can make a vast difference too! If it has been a problem because of that for him in the past don't be afraid to ask to stop (say you guys are getting frisky or know you will) and say you want to shower first.
manasstalker 7
* he just might not be a compatible partner for you. XD
askullnamedbilly 33
"Oh, he might not be a hypocritical asshole, but you should totally think about breaking up with him." What?
mister_icicle 17
Bail out. The situation is just going to weigh on your mind until the relationship folds up anyway. Better to be proactive and find a better, more generous guy.
CoolCookie210 22
Say "no that's disgusting" and refuse until he agrees to 69 at least
JBChristian 47
Testicles mean nothing if you don't use them. Kids have testicles too, doesn't make them men.
ZombieSazza 34
He sounds like a very selfish lover... I wouldn't bother with him, there are a lot of men who are VERY happy to please a woman orally, sadly this asshole isn't one of them.
allplayedout 20
Never date a guy who calls getting up close and personal with your lady parts "disgusting." It's cruel, rude, and insanely immature. Drop this one like a hot potato and find someone who's really into it--there's plenty of them out there.