Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 677
You deserved it 12 201
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Top comments

OneandOnlyOne 0

Never ever offer to do it again. If he hints that he wants one, tell him his penis isn't clean enough for your mouth. He sounds like a REAL moron!

89 17

Comments

tpag3r 0

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8 26
tbagg74 0

For future reference this could have been prevented by not picking up guys in gay bars

11 33
genius_man16 0

Was her mouth really that nasty though? I mean, I assume "messing around" includes kissing right? So he will kiss her but not let her go down on him? Unless you guys didn't kiss, but then that'd just be weird.

28 0
tpag3r 0

burying only serves to infuriate the troll

4 18
Skull_300 0

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8 20
djb23 0

maybe you just swear to much?

25 2
KumoFF7 3

YDI for not flossing, I hope the tooth fairy rapes you.

2 2
eggnogg 0

syphilis is why you brush your teeth b4, ydi

0 5
toastygoat 0

What? But his penis was clean enough, though??

19 2
Knight05 0

It could be worse your girlfriend could be black, and then it would feel like getting sucked off by a greasy piece of KFC chicken with a mouth at the end of it. God how I love the smell of baby oil.

3 9
KumoFF7 3

YDI for not flossing. I hope the tooth fairy rapes you

2 2
americayay 0

Eh 1. I doubt it's about her breath. It's probably his own issue with oral sex in general. He probably just doesn't like the idea of sticking it in someone's dirty mouth.

0 0
MCofpwnage 0

God DAMN it Knight05, we don't want your ******* racism. Keep it to yourself and any douche who's stupid enough to agree with you.

0 1
FarSide 22

Well, you know, you are from Missouri. Nevertheless, the upside of getting a beej from a toothless woman would probably be quite enjoyable.

3 2
FarSide 22

@13: You sound like the type who washes their hands after using the toilet (if at all). I were raised to wash my hands BEFORE going to the toilet. I take good care of "Big Ed".

1 6
Plumppotato 3

technically the mouth is the dirtiest part of the human body. its disgusting to think about all the bacteria she wouldve rubbed on his little buddy. plus the fact that saliva is part of the digestive system, having all that spit and stuff on it wouldve broken down his penis cells.

6 17
PokeyStix 3

Wow, you must never have had a ********.

5 3
tapdancr4eva 0

What kind of guy would say that? He should be greatful. He sounds like a jerk!

1 2
slayerrrr 0

yes, cos gay guys are known for being totally anti oral.... idiot :-P

6 1
protooler31 0

haha, he has a point, most people's mouths have FAR more germs/bacteria than their genitals.

21 7
DameGreyWulf 0

Indeed-a-doodle. But now, even with the mouth wash, she's probably going to be too nervous to go down on him. Too bad for him. Unless she meant it was just her first time going down on him, and not in general.

2 1
medfly 2

let's say that I have less bacteria in my penis than in my mouth, but I have genital herpes. is it still cleaner than your mouth?

14 1
bribold1 0

personally I think not because that would mean it has a disease, and the whole point of cleanliness is to avoid diseases

0 5
taazer 12

do any of you know how many bacterias there is on a mans penis?? and the mouth is one of the cleanest places on the body!

0 19
xNephilim 18

Fun fact... Genital herpes and "mouth" herpes are completely different. So even if you did have genital herpes, it wouldn't affect your partner if they were only pleasuring you orally.

1 11
crudeandrudeguy 29

157- truly EPIC fail. You just can't get any more wrong no matter how hard you try...

4 0
saraa615 0

Try Listerine. And a tongue scraper. On top of brushing, which I hope you already do.

6 0
lollerskater 0

Play some hockey, then invest in dentures?

2 0
adelaide_evening 0

Does that mean he thinks you don't brush your teeth, or that you were going to give him herpes by giving him a ********?

17 0
BenignScientists 0

Seriously, if a guy turns you down for a BJ, something is seriously rotten in Denmark. ... and by Denmark, I mean you mouth

29 2
lilkim_fml 0

So that actually means that i live in OP's dirty mouth? Hmmm. Time to think again.......

6 1
fxdxhk90 0

So? Your boyfriend is a complete moron, his life is more screwed then yours.

12 1
davidtheday 0

The OP probably had a cold sore!!!! EWWWWW!!!!

4 8