By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Spicy
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 948
You deserved it 9 676

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DontClickOnMe 28

He could've been nicer about it, but if it really bothers you, ask him how he likes it and to give you some tips. He should be helpful, not hurtful.

If it's her first time it's not really her fault... He needs to be nicer and patient and kindly let her know how to improve, it is very nerve-wracking for a girl to perform for the first time.

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If it's her first time it's not really her fault... He needs to be nicer and patient and kindly let her know how to improve, it is very nerve-wracking for a girl to perform for the first time.

Is there really such a thing as a bad blowjob? As long as she wasn't biting.

yes. yes there is such a thing.

20 seconds in? show aint over yet. barely even started. hold your horses man.

20 seconds is a damn long time to be sucking at sucking. Was the OP grating her teeth on it? Even a bad blow job is a good blow job unless she's hurting the poor guy. Except if he's into that?

Oh god damnit... Scraping teeth and braces are mans worst fear in blowjobs ... PTSD from that stuff , thanks enslaved.

I never heard of a bad blowjob. even a mediocre one is still a good one. unless she was chomping on it, then no that is not good.

RedPillSucks 31

Maybe he should tell her how to do it right instead of complaining.

Malahkaa 19

Practice makes perfect...

It's her first time, her bf should give her a break.

#51: There's definitely such a thing as bad blowjobs that don't hurt. Some women don't understand that just putting it in their mouth is not automatically pleasurable to us.

idk #50, my ex was really into a bit of teeth action, guess it depends on the dude.

I am shocked at the people in these comments defending the BF for being honest. Yes honesty is good. But definitely NOT in the first 20 secs of it unless OP was actually hurting him. He sounds like a complete dick. All he did with that comment is probably kill OP's confidence to ever do it again. In sex you should make it a point not to insult someone on what they're doing wrong and instead guide them on how to do it right.

sooo... does no one want to talk about how there are 69 likes....no one?.....really?....just me?....

Did she *blow* on it?

To all of you saying there is no such thing as a bad blowjob... Yes there is. When my girlfriend started they were awful. Almost no pleasure. So we worked on it and I was not mean but I tried to help her improve. Now she's amazing so the guy really should have been nicer about it but yes they can suck.

#50 referred to as "black and decker pecker wreckers."

There are many ways a blowjob could be bad without it necessarily being about teeth. Here is an example that I heard from a friend, who had originally heard it from her boyfriend-at-the-time: A girl was going down on her boyfriend for the first time but she had no idea what she was doing. She opened her mouth and proceeded to put his member in it but then she just sat there for a bit. Imagine ring toss, her mouth was like the biggest ring sitting around the pole, just gaping open, no suction and no back-and-forth. Without moving, she tried to say "is it good?" And he's just like "What? Are you serious?"

#130: Exactly. OP's boyfriend wasn't very nice about it, but his point was completely legit.

Said the man who gets none. Jerk.

Well then what was she doing wrong?

DontClickOnMe 28

He could've been nicer about it, but if it really bothers you, ask him how he likes it and to give you some tips. He should be helpful, not hurtful.

Oh I think he was giving her some tip alright already...

Or just don't ever do it again. No biggie.

well, she didnt eat many lollipops in her lifetime!

2 is saying you suck at bIowjobs really hurtful?

Meowdisen 15

It is healthy to give each other tips and talk about what you like and don't like. But just being blunt like that is really crappy. I'm sorry op.

Was she using teeth? I bet she was using teeth..

Break up with that disrespectful boy and find yourself someone better

Being honest deserves an automatic break-up? Whaaaa? So much for honesty being an essential element in relationships... even though OP's bf couldve been more gentle

There's a way to be honest without being so rude about it.

Hey, at least he was honest, instead of suffering through it. Although I've never heard of a guy "suffering through" a blow job.

tantanpanda 26

yes, but it doesn't warrent OP to break up with him. grow up

#9 he deserves it for lacking tact. If he is this mean while she is giving head think of how mean he will be if they're having a fight.

Teeth. That's reason for a sucky blowjob right there. Teeth.

RedPillSucks 31

Not bad enough to be a breakup offense. Maybe he should just find some dude and show her how it's done

Metal_Chick 15

Well that's just stupid. Yeah he was a little mean about it but have you ever been sexually frustrated? If he didn't have most of his blood running through his dick he probably would have been more gentle. A lot of girls would take this as an offense and immediately dump his ass but I have actually had a bf telling me "don't go too rough woman!". Will some people get offended by that? Sure. I, however, took it as a tip and it was one of the best relationships I've had to date. We were both roughly honest about what worked for us and what didn't. That's what makes a difference between good sex and bad sex. And most of the time bad sex leads to either unfaithfulness or the end of a relationship. So lets not jump to conclusions. For all we know he may be a great and respectful boyfriend.

RedPillSucks 31

In your case he was directing you what not to do. That's useful feed back. How would you have felt if he'd just said "you're horrible at this" without saying what's wrong or how to make it better

Metal_Chick 15

And isn't that what is wrong with fml? We don't know that is all he said to her either. Like I said lets not make assumptions. How do you know that's all her bf told her? He could have apologized right after for not saying it nicely. Maybe he's an awesone guy he just isn't good with words in the heat of the moment. I know people who are truly amazing but suck with words and phrases.

I agree with you, #3. If I were in that position, I would ditch the BF before letting myself be humiliated like that again. If he can't treat a sincere effort to please him with respect and offer kind, constructive criticism, he deserves to be dumped.

I'm sorry. But your wrong. Unless he's been rude Constantly.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Asshole Level: Over 9000!!!

He's getting a bj he really shouldn't be complaining

He should just be happy you were willing to do it.

What's the point if it's not good though?

It isnt exactly pleasant for the girl, but she was trying to show that she cared about his pleasure even though it isnt pleasant for her. So she at least tried, give her some credit.

Haha I was expecting some crazy argument, thanks for not being one of those people :)

HAHAHAHA, funny. Not pleasant for the girl? If your partner actually CARES about your feelings, she will love giving head just as much as you do for her. I can't keep her off mine!

#18 it's the thought that counts

#24 expecting a crazy argument? Well, I think 39 is trying to start one. Either that or he's just trying to be that one guy with the collar popped up, hat backwards, and wearing sunglasses indoors.

I think the second one.

39, it's difficult to breathe when you're down there. Also, some men find it necessary to grab your head and start humping it, which makes it even more difficult to breathe and you can start choking, it also does not always taste nice or smell nice. Oh, did I mention the jaw ache?

well you see, there's a difference between giving a blowjob to a guy who cares and who doesn't care. anyone who doesn't smell nice down there clearly doesn't care much for your perception of him. Everyone i've been with who hasn't been hesitant (aka, experience) has been down there for 40 minutes+ no complaints, daily showers do WONDERS!

#69: Still, girls only do it because they think you want them to, and when you end up with a asshole like yourself, it makes them hate it, or go gay. So keep doing what your doing and send them gals my way :)

Cock-y much? Much honestly, 40+ minutes would not only leave the girl tired, but both of you would be having cramps, hell, 10+ minutes even.

I'll probably be downvoted for this, but I kinda agree with 39, although he does kinda sound like the second option that 53 described him as. I LOVE giving my boyfriend oral, not because it necessarily gets me off, but I love pleasing him and that in and of itself turns me on. I don't find it unpleasant at all, and would honestly rather give than receive. Truthfully, my boyfriend doesn't let me go down on him enough for my preferences, as he prefers giving over receiving. OP, your boyfriend came across as a douche, maybe you really love him and maybe you don't. A quick google search may help you if you are new to oral, and I don't mean porn sites. Foreplay for both parties makes for a gratifying experience for all involved and I wish you the best.

#95, you aren't, or shouldn't be down voted because you agree with someone, and I'm not picking sides, however I do have to also agree in a small sense with #39 also, if she does care, then it shouldn't matter the quality of the bj. Because he was being truthful, it does not mean he came across as a douche, honesty is the best part of a relationship, even if he could be a little easier on her, it does not determine their love..

Axel5238 29

No, he did come across as a douche. Honesty and tact are 2 very different things. Just blurting out you are terrible is a douche thing to do. It may not determine love, but tact goes a long way in at least showing you care about someones feelings. It's not always what you say, but how you say it. No tact, bad timing= Douche.

SheepShoop_fml 20

Are you just getting awful head or are you that insensitive that it takes you 40 minutes to get off from a blowjob?

I HATE giving head. It freaks me out. I just freeze and start crying anytime I try to go down on my bf. It feels demeaning and I can't shake the feeling of being less than human when I do it. He understands. I pleasure him in other ways which we are both comfortable with. I love him to pieces, and I DO care about his feelings. I don't think I need to give him blowjobs to show him that.

Just to clarify, that's just how I feel about giving head. If that's something you and your partner enjoy, then by all means, blow to your heart's content! Just don't say that all girls who won't give head are selfish. It gives me bad anxiety, and I don't think I should be forced to do something sexual that I'm not comfortable with. My bf knows I love him despite my aversion to sucking his penis.

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Tell him your relationship is TERRIBLE

Awww, it's okay...practice makes perfect? You'll learn his body as you go along, ask him in a sexy way what he likes :)