Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
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Top comments
MrFuzzles 5
You did her so good... You knocked her unconscious AND gave her an ******. Kudos to you champion of the bedroom.
KitGrey 4
Anyone else disturbed that he apparently noticed she had fallen asleep kept going?
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Comments (168)
tildoorf84 7
nipple tweak will solve this
grannygruber 6
Ok, I must admit, I've fallen to sleep during sex before. Granted I had worked a double, immediately followed by going to doctor appointments. I told him I was too tired and would try to stay with it, I also told him, if I did fall to sleep do what he needed to. Men have needs, if those can been taken care of when I'm out cold, go for it! Even a hot blooded sleeping partner has to feel better than a hand or a blow-up doll!
noisebox 1
Wow I would marry you you have the right attitude and understand men's needs!
noisebox 1
Mount an assault from the rear, and you'll win the end!
swimmer3141 10
That's just gross.
sammyjanette 17
I'm going to have to agree with 146. hat kind of sick freak wants to have sex with limp body? Seriously just jerk off.
monnanon 14
maybe get some self respect instead of advertising yourself as a living sex doll.
justin_noble 6
Try new techniques. And plow her so she don't fall asleep again
SamCrow 1
Dude, that is terrible. I feel bad for you
nowayisthisreal 4
You commenters sound really young.
frankleflame1 0
Dude tht means u have a small dick
xqtmvzwr 1
That's a straight shooter right there, amirite.net ?
Vulkfury 8
You should think 50% of the guys pleasure needs and the 50% of the woman's pleasure needs don't see why a lot of people think they should only think of their own needs
Ceejay1 13
wow that's ****** up ,step it up .
geod69 8
At least she remembered what she was doing when she woke up