Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
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Top comments
MrFuzzles 5
You did her so good... You knocked her unconscious AND gave her an ******. Kudos to you champion of the bedroom.
KitGrey 4
Anyone else disturbed that he apparently noticed she had fallen asleep kept going?
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Comments (168)
TrueTriage 16
I don't know about you guys but I read it in English.
aJaguarinRed 9
This tells me OP is doing fine, it's the wife that fails. Stick up for your sex life! There is nothing more annoying than the dumb shit who won't even try.
auspycious 0
It's all about effort bro. You should've fallen asleep on top of her
ultra_notorious 26
That really sucks man. There is no reason in the world why an ****** should be faked.
ChickInGreenVans 12
Im with you on that one..
groupleader 7
You must be doing something wrong, she never falls asleep on me.
mypanda_fml 0
You tried :D
goliatron 9
Maybe you should change your username to "smallieT."
Irakli_1 27
If you're so bad in bed, it's totally your fault.
NoReservations 9
Bad wife. No excuses.
noisebox 1
Who cares as long as you got your cookie, you should have come knocking at her back door that would have kept her awake : p