Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
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Top comments
MrFuzzles 5
You did her so good... You knocked her unconscious AND gave her an ******. Kudos to you champion of the bedroom.
KitGrey 4
Anyone else disturbed that he apparently noticed she had fallen asleep kept going?
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Comments (168)
MDTeddy 13
Having sex any other time is just going to get awkward now that you know this.
ImSoEffedUp 10
I know it's your wife, BUT if she falls asleep during sex.... Don't u think u should just stop... I'm just saying...
Seabeast1000 4
Shove it up her butt and see what she does.
SouthernBell03 4
That's rape if she is asleep & isn't aware dipship!
silent_bride 5
If you're having sex with someone and they fall asleep, you STOP. End of story. Your "needs" do NOT trump the other person's right to say no.
anissastewart 3
So you fleas sex with her at night
sacredeye73 11
She fell asleep and you kept going? What's wrong with you???
torgie 1
We don't have enough information to know if he kept going or not. The way I read it, he gave up and was doing something ELSE when she started to wake up/moan. Which would make the faking it part much more obvious.
insanez58 11
A for effort
kitkatknicknack 12
Tell her to either get acting classes or a sex therapist...