Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
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Top comments
AnonymousTroll 2
It seems like *sunglasses* she wants to bust a cap.
J3R3MYY 14
Child services, how may I help you?
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Comments (126)
unfortunate_13 5
that's child abuse... tell her!
FloorKnocker 12
YDI :]
Savra_fml 17
Move out OP, but before you do, have some fun and remove the cap of everything in the house and then hide them. This will give you time to makee your get away.
MissMae93 23
Genius!
perdix 31
Forgot? Yeah, right. You intentionally left the cap off just to subject her to that dry crust off toothpaste that forms when you leave it uncapped. You're lucky she reckons you are merely insane, when, in fact, you are evil.
fangbanger_kitty 10
YOU FORGOT TO PUT THE CAP BACK ON THE TOOTHPASTE.!!?? YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!!!! IT CAN TURN INTO A BLACKHOLE! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED US ALL.. No wonder she beat you -.-
Sweet121 0
Brings new meaning to the phrase "drama mama."
bubo_fml 11
This calls for swapping her toothpaste w/ shoe polish & vise versa...
bgzdhn1 2
I'm pretty sure thats child abuse. Tell some one or call childline (0800 1111)
ScarletBloom 14
Phone the children's aid.
emerluvsu 6
Does anyone actually use the cap for the toothpaste?
springbok_fml 2
yes..
shrdlu 28
I do. It's attached and I can't stand the tube up on that end unless I flip the cap back on.