Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
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Top comments
AnonymousTroll 2
It seems like *sunglasses* she wants to bust a cap.
J3R3MYY 14
Child services, how may I help you?
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Comments (126)
hateevryone 15
Sounds like she's the one that needs to go to the hospital.
maryam8869 7
at leaste u wont forget to put it back for ever :(
sailorzoe 14
I hope your first language is not English.
maryam8869 7
hahahaaa ya its not :/
drawmesunshine 17
137, Por q cree esto? Eh? See what I did there? Spanish has its own text language. Whoda thunk?
happyfailure 4
Moms a bitch and a hippocrite
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Hypocrite** ..or were you trying to imply she's fat or what ?
rattusrattus 19
Hippo = Ancient Greek word for horse. Or was it Latin? One of the two.
chicfuzzball 0
hypocrite means someone who says not to do something and does it themselves dumb shit. example if you're parents tell u not to smoke and then they go and do it they are being hypocrites or hypocritical and she is not being a bitch I mean I wouldn't like brushing my teeth with crusty toothpaste maybe a little bit of over reacting
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Uhh we know this 'dumbshit' , I was correcting the spelling..
ikickgingers 15
72 - Greek was right :)
Cinn_fml 23
chicfuzzball - I think the other guy meant hypocritical about the craziness rather than the toothpaste.
shihtzupup98 3
AHAHA!!!
shihtzupup98 3
AHAHA!!!
shihtzupup98 3
AHAHA!!!
Poetaster 10
Is moving out an option?
romil_cool12 1
Your mom has some kinda issues rather than you :-P Btw Pity you :-|
J3R3MYY 14
I PITY DA FOO!!
MsMeiriona 2
Tell her it runs in the family.
JustDannyG 0
Good old-fashion beating =)
Torva_fml 16
It's only a shoe, she had to push you out..... She's getting revenge.
Buttsexpirate 9
When you *slap* don't put *slap* the cap back on *slap* you disrespect the family! *slap* you're insane! You need help! *slap*
RedPillSucks 33
Buy your mom toothpaste that has the cap connected so it can never be lost.
MrsPegg 45
Good solution! ... but if OP'S mom is that crazy about toothpaste caps, she may actually be mad that it flips up instead of screw off! LOL