Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AnonymousTroll 2
It seems like *sunglasses* she wants to bust a cap.
J3R3MYY 14
Child services, how may I help you?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
Randomnessmoi 0
I think she's the one who has to be put in a mental hospital :P
HeXr 22
People in glass houses...
ikickgingers 15
Should utilize their gym memberships?
Cinn_fml 23
If this is a common occurance I'd suggest taking steps to remove yourself from that house. If this is a one off, you're probably safe. But, I doubt there's any mental institution that'll accept a patient as being officially crazy for not putting the lid back on the toothpaste.
kairoxsox 0
seems like your mom is the one that needs to be in a mental hospital...
AmandaIsMyName 0
It's probably not the only thing you do. And prob not the first time you've did it.
Epikouros 32
Well, it is totally irrational not to put the cap back on the toothpaste.
lionheart822 13
Better yet, buy the one the comes out of a dispenser like soap in a public restroom, then sit back and enjoy as she has a real fit. =)
kheise4life 0
I know your pain
leadman1989 16
What kind of animal doesn't recap the toothpaste? Next raping babies... no nothing in between it goes "not capping tooth paste" to "baby rape". You sicken me >:(
krfisher87 5
Sounds like "Mommie Dearest" to me. Just make sure you play nice so that when she dies, she doesn't stiff you. :-)