Relationships

So young, so jaded

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 13:59

Today, like every day, I scrolled through my social media feeds, seeing happy couples, people buying houses and landing their dream jobs. I, on the other hand, am a single 23 year-old man in a dead end job, who still lives with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 648

Be more jealous!

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 04:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me a story about his ex-wife. Just normal day-to-day stuff. He then got mad at me because I wasn’t mad that he was talking about his ex. I told him that I understood he had a life before me, and it wasn’t a big deal. Apparently, he wants a jealous immature brat. Sorry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 140

Boozehounds

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 17:01

Today, my fiancé refused to talk to me because I'm "an alcoholic". I only started drinking like this after we moved in together and he brought me alcohol every day, because he's an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 374

Sofa King

By Anonymous - 27/05/2023 15:00

Today, and since I got frustrated at my wife as she was harping on at me, yet again, a few months ago, and I told her to shut the fuck up for the first time ever in our 25 year marriage, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. I’m thinking of changing my address to Sofa, Fireplace Road, Living Room Town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 1 070

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got home and I was feeling horny so I leapt on my boyfriend, except he had just got home from a 16-hour day and was too tired. After his nap, he was horny but by that time I was way too tired and no longer horny. This is ridiculous, we can’t even get laid even though we live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 397

Women shouldn't fart?

By single again - 06/04/2021 17:00

Today, I slept in the same room as my girlfriend for the first time. She is sweet, smart, and drop-dead gorgeous, so naturally I thought she was going to be the one. Until she farted in her sleep. 56 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 3 249

Not the sharpest tool

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 17:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Her six year-old likes me more than her. I hate kids. I stayed with her in spite of her son, because I love her. For some reason she thought I was going to leave her and take her kid with me, so she broke up with me first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 303

Goddammit, Facebook!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 06:01 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he isn't sure about me anymore. He said he saw a quote on Facebook that a guy can be with a girl for 10 years, then leave, and be with a girl for one and marry that girl. Meanwhile, I've been planning on the rest of my life with him in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 162

Find me someone to love

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 22:01

Today, I re-started the Grindr app several times because I wasn’t receiving notifications. Turns out it wasn’t malfunctioning, it was just that I didn’t get a single message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 399

Airhead

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 02:01

Today, my husband is so useless that he forgot to pick our son up from my mother's, forgot to take our daughter to the doctor, forgot to buy some groceries we need, and after begging for another appointment with the doctor, he forgot what was wrong with our daughter (a massive rash) I despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 379

Crushed

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 12:00

Today, I found out that my crush and best friend dumped her boyfriend, and she has been sexting two of our male friends who are married, with kids, and has started hooking up with a meth head. Guess I'm losing a lot of friends in the future… FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 168

Missing the point

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 07:58

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I checked his phone. The reason I did so was to get his mum’s number so I could arrange to send her his Xmas present in a parcel, as a surprise as I wouldn't be with him. He found out when he asked me how I managed it, and I told him honestly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 338

Stable genius

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 02:02 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a short date with a new girl in the office, who everyone thought was a tad bit odd. Also today, she showed me the names of our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 256

Happy New Year, maybe

By boardAtTheHospital - 01/01/2022 05:00

Today, I'm home alone and it blows, especially since my wife has to stay at the hospital to get chemo, and I can't stay with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 123

Stuck

By Anonymous - 02/05/2021 21:30 - Australia

Today, after my fiancé and I recently separated, their choice not mine, we decided to stay friends, and still live in the same house. Now I get the pleasure of listening to him flirt and have long conversations with some girl every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 1 033

This is us

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 19:59

Today, my husband asked me to check his asshole to see if his haemorrhoid had grown any bigger. This is my life now, all romance gone, and having to check his hairy ringpiece every day, and our kids wonder why I drink before I can fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 481

Life imitates art

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 10:59 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, it's now the 10th girl who has gone out with me but ended up falling for one of my close friends, who she met through me. I starting to feel I am that guy in the movie "Good Luck Chuck". FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 86

Don't give in!

By Pissed off and scammed. - 10/09/2021 05:00

Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 98

Ghosted

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 00:30

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years ghosted me without a word and acted like he didn't know my friend when she texted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 99

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 16/05/2023 18:00

Today, I had an amazing date with an amazing guy, but he hadn't realized he doesn't have time for a relationship, and I don't have the emotional capacity. It's just the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 199

Bro moment

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 11:00

Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 175

Unhealthy relationship

By Lance from the Serfs is a snacc - 03/05/2021 00:30

Today, I had to admit that I'm polyamorous. Well, I'm in several relationships. Parasocial relationships. With YouTubers and Twitch streamers. I talk to them through the screen. I can't remember what it's like to have real-life friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 1 126

Divorce, the ultimate turn on

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 00:00

Today, I’m confused as hell. Since we got divorced, my ex-wife and I have had more sex in the last 6 months than our entire 5 year marriage. Since our split, we can’t keep our hands off each other, and I’m in a state of permanent confusion about our future relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 369

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 12/01/2023 10:00

Today, after my wife broke my heart years ago when she cheated, I then met my sexual ying, and developed a napalm relationship, but she lost her marriage and relies on me for everything. So now I have FOUR human beings relying on me. Nobody should say anything but I deserved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 1 618

Thanks for your support

By SocialSuicide - 17/11/2021 04:58

Today, I've been bedridden for 2 weeks. My mother, a very busy woman who lives 30 minutes away, took me to the doctor's office, which is barely 2 minutes across town. Turns out I have strep, and a bad ear infection. My loving boyfriend of 6 years, who lives with me, just told me to take a hot shower and I'd feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 219

Dating hell

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 14:00

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy. We went back to his place, and after getting it on, he rolled onto his back and told me, "You can put that on your Bumble profile, you got a good dicking" then helicoptered his dick around, thinking it was sexy. I missed the last train, so I walked home after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 720

F*ck the patriarchy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2020 19:58

Today, I watched as my girlfriend painfully plucked her eyebrows for half an hour. She is willing to do this, but not shave her armpits on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 1 135

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 14:02

Today, I was ghosted by my next door neighbor, who I've been seeing/hooking up with for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 335

Back and forth

By coolrunnings1021 - 05/07/2021 14:01

Today, my wife is a tennis fan and is watching Wimbledon. I hate tennis, but she gets in a mood if I suggest we watch anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 704

The grass is never actually greener

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 06:00

Today, I felt a fear that my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t going to last. There’s nothing inherently wrong, yet I find myself thinking of breaking up with him. A lot. I love him and feel like I’m already part of his family, and that's something I don’t want to let go. I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 363

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The Top

Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 806

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 046

You deserved it 3 048

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 4 199

Today, I thought my boyfriend of six years was going to propose to me. We're high school sweethearts and he was my first. Just as he was looking into my eyes he said, "I've been seeing someone else for two years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 463

You deserved it 4 310

Please don't make me get up.

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 101

Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 103