Today, my wife keyed my car and spilled wine on the seats because she saw I commented on a female friend’s picture on Facebook. I told her how repairs are gonna be expensive, and she responded, “You should have thought about that before complimenting other bitches on Facebook!” FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my wife put petrol in my diesel car and ruined the engine, I got a bit upset, but I wasn’t screaming or yelling or anything, but she flew completely off the handle at me at how I was putting all the blame on her and it wasn’t fair. I ended up apologising to her for her mistake. FML
Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML
Today, my wife found out about all the crazy stuff my ex and I used to do in my car, which I still drive. Serves me right for encouraging them to be friends. I hope she doesn’t find out about what went down on our ottoman, I can’t afford a new one. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, my wife got rear-ended and won't call the police, file an insurance claim, or send a photo of the wreck. She's too busy boozing it up in the city with her girlfriend. This is going to be an expensive lesson in adulting. FML
Today, for the third time this year, my wife backed into the garage door. We’d just finally got it fixed exactly one week ago for $1800 from the last time she did it. Somehow it’s my fault. FML
Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, my wife’s single friend got drunk at my Master’s graduation party and went a long-winded rant about what a good partner I am. I’d be flattered if the fusing of praise of me with single person problems didn’t come off sounding like a jilted lover. We’d only met twice pre-party. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mike3775 39
Time to seek a good divorce attorney
Silver_helmet 10
You need to sit down with her. Start with her anger management, jealousy and finish with your desire to have a break. Find a family member to live - your parents, uncles. Before getting out, be sure to pack all important documents related to your bank account. Sadly this event probably broke your marriage.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
mike3775 39
Time to seek a good divorce attorney
Silver_helmet 10
You need to sit down with her. Start with her anger management, jealousy and finish with your desire to have a break. Find a family member to live - your parents, uncles. Before getting out, be sure to pack all important documents related to your bank account. Sadly this event probably broke your marriage.
ashlston 12
Obviously she's off her rocker and super jealous, but come on. Don't be complimenting women's pictures online.. "friend" or not
yousodi 10
Please 😆🙄
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Her use of the word other indicates that she realises that she is a bitch herself.
magnumpeyote66 6
GET OUT you married a psycho. leave before she kills you.
hobbestherost666 3
Divorce sucks but it is better than that, kick her to the curb
RichardPencil 32
You have a wife who really cares about you and loses it if she think she's going to lose you. Behave yourself. You have a good woman!
Studious_Gluteus 19
There are so many far better ways to express one's care for their lover than jealousy fueled vandalism. A good partner does not put their partner in a position where they have to continually protect themself from this behavior.
phybreawptic 13
I feel like we need more context about the friend and the comment.
CTscan 8
sooooo I guess you get to go on tinder soon
Hangryko 32
I hope you divorced that control freak.