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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Poopoo peepee

    How romantic

    By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

    Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 259
    You deserved it 43 611
    Share  

    Earthquake sneezer

    By Noname - 27/01/2009 00:02 - Japan

    Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 52 812
    You deserved it 2 832
    Share  

    By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

    Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 20 882
    You deserved it 11 416
    Share  

    Good boy

    By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

    Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 582
    You deserved it 25 194
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Relatable Dogs Delivery Wake up Work Food Language Cooking Annoying Bikes Transportation Technology Embarrassing Intimacy NSFW Sex Awkward Kids Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Animals Cats Gross Video games Gamers Divorce Music Cars Growing old
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, I thought I'd spice things up by kissing my husband on the lips and then working my way down. But about halfway, I got some of his chest hairs lodged in my throat and started gagging. To avoid ruining the mood, I kept going, silently gagging, until we finished. I swallowed the hair. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 19 066
    You deserved it 5 415
    Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 8 690
    You deserved it 55 130
    Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 164
    You deserved it 3 151
    Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 61 840
    You deserved it 3 110
    Today, I found out the house I want to buy is being re-listed, because I can't have an open house to get people to see and buy my current house, because no one can go out in the this fucking quarantine. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 737
    You deserved it 253
    Today, I learned my boss, the CEO of a multinational nonprofit, is so computer illiterate that he hadn't realized he could resize the File Explorer window on his computer, leading to days of delay of him getting work to my team, and a lot of unhappy notes. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 602
    You deserved it 114
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