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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Poopoo peepee

    How romantic

    By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

    Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 261
    You deserved it 43 614
    Share  

    Earthquake sneezer

    By Noname - 27/01/2009 00:02 - Japan

    Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 52 813
    You deserved it 2 833
    Share  

    By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

    Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 20 883
    You deserved it 11 417
    Share  

    Good boy

    By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

    Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 582
    You deserved it 25 198
    Share  
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    Keywords

    Coworkers Pranks Work Mental health Love Video games Clumsy Geek Health Poopoo peepee Medication Parents Cars Transportation NSFW Weird Sex Intimacy My ex Cheating Awkward Pregnancy Kids Mysterious LGBTQIA+ Clothes Cooking Fire Miscellaneous Smells
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 41 037
    You deserved it 3 991
    Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 267 649
    You deserved it 90 961
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 982
    You deserved it 2 377
    Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was wood chips that were behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 34 248
    You deserved it 3 811
    Today, I went on a hike. It had snowed the night before so I wore warm clothes. They didn’t help when I slipped and broke my leg. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 115
    You deserved it 493
    Today, I was fiddling with a ring my aunt hand made me, accidentally slipping it off, and dropped it in the toilet. Like an idiot, I scrambled to get it out only for my bending over to activate the automatic flush. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 155
    You deserved it 1 001
    Today, I watched as a bully told a kid, "I wish someone would staple your mouth shut so you would never talk again" right in front of the teacher. The teacher definitely heard it. She didn't get written up for it. Not even a verbal warning. I would pay to see a teacher actually punish someone in this school. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 084
    You deserved it 129
    Today, I got off a boring day at work and went to the casino because my wife wanted me to go and it sounded fun. I have been sitting here doing nothing but talk about people's lives in the non-smoking section. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 11
    You deserved it 1
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