Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML
AFunnyUsername tells us more.
Hey everyone, this is the person who posted this. No I'm not a creepy stalker, I'm a normal person. Today, the girl who did this asked my best friend on a date. My best friend is pretty popular, so a lot of people manage to follow what he does. After she asked, he only pointed and laughed at her, at which the point where everyone proceeded to turn around and laugh at her as well. I feel better now.
Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML
Today, my date sent me a text saying, "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we." She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year-olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML
iluvsu504 tells us more.
this is the poster, and i hadnt given her the ring yet but she knew i had it, which makes it douche-ier. and yeah im a lesbian, no im not the man in the relationship, im lipstick, and i told that bitch she had lost her ******* mind. and that i would be picking up my hamster next week. btw. forever and always was not a promise, it was a like inside saying between me and her that we developed as friends. and when youre a college kid who makes less than 300 a month with bills to pay a $120 ring is expensive so thanks. but yes i have the ring and the hamster and that bitch is gone!
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like each other. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says, "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML
Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML
Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML
SkySkyChan tells us more.
OP Here- I love you people, speculating on people's lives like you know something. This is really old now, but I figured I'd give an update. We got together the following February, and are very happy where we're at now. C: So thanks ya'll for the input, though most of it was unnecessary. I know what love is, do you?
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. We were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say, "I love you". So I told him to, "say it already." Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML
Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's Facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex-girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML
Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML
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