Cleaning

Barf

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 20:00

Today, I spent all day cleaning the carpets in every room. I own two dogs and a cat, so deodorizing and deep cleaning the carpets is an all-day chore. At 9 p.m., after I was done with the last room, I went out to the living room and saw one of my dogs had been sick all over the place. Had to reclean the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 228

Anger management

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 05:01

Today, my husband started screaming at me about how I’d lost the mop, so he couldn’t mop the kitchen, and how the mess in the house is my fault since I got fired before Covid and "sit all day doing nothing" when I could be cleaning. Because job hunting during Covid is totally doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 1 159

IT'S EVERYWHERE!!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spilled flour all over the floor and myself, and it took me eight billion years to clean up and there is still flour haunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 189

Trash the lot

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 2 870

Falling down

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 00:01

Today, I was doing laundry. I went to go grab a couple of detergent pods. Forgetting that I'm 5'3 and the pods are above the industrial-sized washer, I reached for them and fell backwards into a hole where the water from the washer goes. My left leg got soaked in dirt water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 230

Housecleaning

By QuestionMyLife - 01/10/2009 00:56 - United States

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 446

You deserved it 13 462

Robby Krieger rubbing salt into the wound again

By No time to wallow in the fire - 08/07/2022 16:00

Today, I had to stay at a friend's house because my dryer caught fire. My friend decided to start cleaning, so he put on his music playlist. By sheer coincidence, the first song that played was "Light My Fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 157

Laundry drama

By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 14:08 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I did laundry with one of my new white sweaters and other light-colored clothes. After it all went through the dryer, I found out there are now dark shades on it and it looks like a years-old old sweater, and can't be cleaned. I didn't even get a chance to put it on once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 795

Nope, no way

By Anonymous - 01/02/2024 09:00

Today, my mom is sulking because I won’t let her house-sit for me while I’m away for 4 months. Her house is a pigsty, a hoarder would be ashamed to live in her house, and growing up in that house is what gave me an OCD for cleaning, yet she thinks I should trust her promises that she’ll keep my house tidy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 91

Choking over here

By JD. - 13/04/2021 00:30

Today, I made the horrible mistake of leaving my car windows cracked while at work. Not only is the exterior yellow due to the pollen, but so is the interior. I'm not allergic, but you can feel the pollen in the back of your throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 293

Passive aggressive

By Anonymous - 16/02/2022 10:00

Today, I cleaned our whole house. I wasn’t expecting praise, it was just the house needed cleaning so I did it. I also wasn’t expecting my girlfriend to get mad at me for “cleaning everything as a form of passive aggressively criticising her for her not having cleaned the house either.” What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 125

The smell detective is on the case

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 198

It doesn't

By Anonymous - 10/04/2022 14:00

Today, my girlfriend and I have literally had our genitals in each other’s mouths and tongues in each other’s ass cracks, yet when I used her toothbrush, I’m gross and nasty, and deserve a sex ban for two weeks. How does this make sense? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 1 036

Hell in a handbasket

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 12:00

Today, I tried to help my community by cleaning up a patch of waste ground covered in litter. Instead of gratitude, I was reported to the cops and issued with fines for noise complaints, trespassing, causing a nuisance, littering, harming wildlife, and about 15 other offences. Screw this community. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 182

Alas, poor Mickey

By socksoffire - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 686

You deserved it 4 930

See ya

By marriageblows - 22/01/2012 02:18 - United States

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 3 885

A method to her madness

By TheTruthFairy2023 - 01/01/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom - Andover

Today, I made it all the way up the stairs without collecting up all the shit my wife had left there during the morning. Instead of rewarding me for not falling over it, she cursed me for not understanding her puzzling redistribution system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 265

New lifeform just dropped

By Anonymous - 24/11/2023 20:00 - Canada

Today, while clearing out my kitchen, I discovered a Tupperware container that'd been forgotten for so long it'd developed its own ecosystem. When I opened it, a funky smell engulfed the kitchen, and I realized I had unintentionally created a new form of life. I promptly closed the container, then put it in the freezer in the hope of killing whatever it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 625

Efficiency

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 22:00 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I realized why my wife starts so many arguments lately. I vent by angry-cleaning. She pisses me off on purpose so she doesn't have to do any chores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 269

Clean

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 22:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, in the entire half-hour since my mother-in-law reached our home, she's inspected and criticised every aspect of our home, despite things being spot clean. And sermoned me non stop on how to "live". My husband still wonders why I don't want her visiting. It"s going to be a long two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 116

Ouch

By Keegan O - 16/03/2021 05:01

Today, I was cleaning out the crawlspace and set a mousetrap off with my testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 242

Do it yourself, then

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 20:00

Today, my roommate said that whoever was doing the dishes was doing it wrong. I've been doing the dishes for weeks. So much for being a clean roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 148

Humblebrag?

By P…… - 01/02/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 480

Dishwasher pod challenged

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 23:00

Today, after submitting a work order to our landlord due to our dishwasher being “broken”, my roommate and I found out there is a wrong way to put dishwasher pods in. We’re both 25 and have gone our whole lives not knowing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 890

Is your dad called Jordan?

By emily - 22/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my dad insists I have to deep clean my bathroom multiple times a day, because in his words: “Once a day just isn’t cutting it.” I have depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 104

Put your back into it

By FaronKee - 18/12/2020 01:56 - United Kingdom

Today, for the first time in 2 years I was able to clean my kitchen, because my back pain has stopped me looking after myself. When I stopped cleaning, my pain was so bad, all I could do was lay flat in bed. Not even my pain meds could help. My kitchen is still not completely clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 112

Ain't it funky

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 241

You deserved it 49 216

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 476

It's for science!

By Ana - 19/10/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I finally got round to cleaning out my refrigerator. As I reached the back, I found an unidentifiable, moldy object lurking in the corner. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was once a cucumber. I'm growing science experiments in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 755

Who let you in?

By Bye Bye Toast - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a funeral to find that my mother had cleaned my house. She thought it would be a good idea to put my toaster in the dishwasher to clean it. My toaster is fried, and she thinks everything's fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 568

You deserved it 240

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Transportation Cars Weird Work Miscellaneous Relatable Fire Love Awkward Kids Cleaning Gross Housework Health Anxiety Mental health Friends Birthday School Education Lonely Sleep Exhausted Parents ADHD Job interview Ironic Moving home Jealousy Intimacy

The Top

Today, I've owned my dream car for 11 days. Someone backed into it while it parked at work, and drove away without leaving a note. A man at a nearby business knows who did it but won't tell me because it was one of his customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 436

You deserved it 1 093

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 619

You deserved it 13 668

Today, I got a call from my mom-in-law saying I have to buy my own food. I took 3 weeks off on unpaid vacation and came out of state to watch my in-laws' house and dog sit while they go out of country. I'm not allowed to touch their food, even the spoiling stuff. My husband doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 789

You deserved it 372

Today, I matched with someone on a dating app. The first thing they said to me was, "What is the chance that you are the trombone player living below me and would you please stop playing after 9 p.m.?" I am that trombone player and due to Covid I have to practice a lot in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 1 855

Today, my fiancé picked today of all days to have one of his depressive episodes where he can’t even get out of bed. We’re supposed to be getting married in four hours, and his episodes can last over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 1 143

Today, I realized that I’m one of those freaks: I took my cat on a walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 672