Sex, Boredom and Love: Boredom - FML

Boredom

By alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 803

You deserved it 52 063

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Same thing different taste

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 965

You deserved it 4 235

By ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 893

You deserved it 1 162

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 757

You deserved it 2 891

By thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 461

You deserved it 3 194

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 418

You deserved it 31 993

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 766

You deserved it 3 624

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 831

You deserved it 13 049

By SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 791

You deserved it 5 679

By UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 442

You deserved it 3 385

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

Next

Top comments

csigabajnok 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:24

Why didn't you start texting too? Maybe you should have sent her a message to pay damn attention or something.

ohgeez 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:31

Hrmm....I'm not saying I'm amazing at it, but from what I can tell, texting is the last thing on the girls mind.... I'd actually be impressed if she could type complete sentences.

Comments

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:20

maybe get better at giving head?

imnotc00l 10

Friday 25 September 2015 0:24

You do know head and eating a girl out are different right?

csigabajnok 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:24

Why didn't you start texting too? Maybe you should have sent her a message to pay damn attention or something.

deadkenn8 0

Monday 22 March 2010 22:08

bahahaha you win everything forever. awesome idea!

brice_garrett 0

Tuesday 28 September 2010 2:44

no, u shoulda started sexting

greenman_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 15:43

that'll teach you to never go down on a girl again. how dare she disrespect such selfless acts?

rihno13 2

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:14

that's f***d up!!!! I'd never do that if my bf's down on me......

ohgeez 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:31

Hrmm....I'm not saying I'm amazing at it, but from what I can tell, texting is the last thing on the girls mind.... I'd actually be impressed if she could type complete sentences.

rylijae 0

Friday 25 February 2011 6:20

haha me too!

katieatieay 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 22:08

#12 beat me to it.

pezzlo 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 23:17

What do a 9-volt battery and an a**hole have in common? No matter how hard you try you always end up touching it with your tongue.

MissLyonsBaby 4

Thursday 20 October 2011 14:11

Dont get it?

mooseylou 4

Sunday 2 September 2012 12:33

Lolll

LenWK 0

Friday 13 February 2009 1:18

You must be doing it wrong.

blah_blah_shity 0

Friday 13 February 2009 1:48

awww. LOL

bafinney 0

Friday 13 February 2009 4:44

cum on her cell phone. sticky keys are a bitch.

Ttime21921 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:02

win.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, when asked for a second date, I had to explain to a man that I didn’t want to see him again, and that he should give women compliments and ask them questions when on a date. He then told me he only does that when his dates look good or say something interesting. He sure still tried to fuck me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 330

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 395

You deserved it 10 095

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 13 436

Today, I realized that I am what the internet refers to as a "neckbeard." I really need to get my shit together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 309

Today, my husband is terminal and insisted on making his last confession. Long story short, the priest came out pale and sweating and told me, in no uncertain terms, that my husband is definitely going to Hell, but won’t tell me why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 113

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 998

You deserved it 5 658