Today, I was cleaning off my couch so my nephew could crash here for a few nights. It's been so long since we've sat on it that it is now inhabited by rats we didn't know were in the house, including newly-born ones. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I finally put away two weeks worth of clean laundry, only to get to the bottom of the pile and find mice droppings. I now have to wash my whole wardrobe, bed linen, and towels with disinfectant (On top of sanitising my furniture and floors). FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML
Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML
Today, I had to move down to the third floor because after complaining about rats on my rooftop the landlord put down traps. The rats died. Flies came. The flies laid eggs. The eggs birthed maggots. The maggots rained down from my broken ceiling into my bed and all over my floor. I'm not okay. FML
Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML
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Top comments
zinoxity 23
I'm very curious as to how you managed to avoid using said couch for THAT long. Either way, that's kind of funny. Good luck with the rats, OP!
WinterChild 20
I'm going to take a wild guess here.. I bet he didn't end up sleeping on that couch.
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Comments (31)
whatshuman43 8
If you don't use it you lose it
zinoxity 23
I'm very curious as to how you managed to avoid using said couch for THAT long. Either way, that's kind of funny. Good luck with the rats, OP!
jebron 13
Funny? A rat infestation? Not how I'd describe it
AnthraxPrincess 18
21 days is the standard pregnancy length for rats. When two adult rats love each other very much and find a nice couch to make their home, less than a month later they have up to 20 babies in there too. what a beautiful, happy family.
hasooon 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dont kill the newborns, please?!
WinterChild 20
I'm going to take a wild guess here.. I bet he didn't end up sleeping on that couch.
xxDeeStar 27
Time to get a new couch OP. This reminds me of something that happened with my boyfriend. He ended up visiting his grandparents in a foreign country. Long story short, the grandparents lived in a one room apartment that was infested with very fat rats and my boyfriend and his dad had to sleep on the floor. He felt bad for his grandparents so he didn't complain but the rats would crawl onto him at times during the night. Idk how he did it. I wouldn't be able to lie down on that floor. But yeah, I hope the infestation isn't THAT bad at your place. Good luck!
sloosh 17
Dyson, Hoover, Miele.... Ring a bell?
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Hoover as in president or vacuum? Can't tell because they both sucked.
GeekGoddess1337 9
Are you a hoarder? Because those are the only people I've ever heard of this happening to.
Stuffaluffagus 25
Never heard of cleaning?
TheMisfitScribe 17
I'm curious to know how one manages to acquire a rat infestation... and how one can do this without knowing. Had you not been using it and needed to clean it off because it was buried in trash?
jbivens1992 17
Still! I have a couch in the back of my house that rarely ever gets used but I feel like I would know if it had a family of rats living in it. That's horrible.