Miscellaneous and Cleaning: Freeze! - FML

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 443

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By LilyL - 06/06/2010 21:53 - United States

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 5 730

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 188

Rebel stuff

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Tamworth

Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 76

By Badlucked - 03/05/2019 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 389

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 428

You deserved it 45 878

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 1 855

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 117

By xMiSS_CuTiEx - 27/12/2009 22:25 - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 109

You deserved it 14 370

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 139

Funtime!

By kengu - 23/10/2011 21:02 - Norway

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 637

You deserved it 7 130

Next

Top comments

great_nate 26

Monday 3 June 2024 22:36

No. Public schools teach you not to do that.

wrecklesswfire 3

Wednesday 5 June 2024 1:59

isn’t physics a bitch?

Comments

suntrkr 9

Monday 3 June 2024 20:39

I'm gonna guess that you went to public school.

great_nate 26

Monday 3 June 2024 22:36

No. Public schools teach you not to do that.

wrecklesswfire 3

Wednesday 5 June 2024 1:59

isn’t physics a bitch?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 817

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 676

The Top

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 675

You deserved it 3 756

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 209

You deserved it 4 714

Today, I accidentally shared the pictures about my date with my side chick on my main stories instead of my “Close friends” list, where I'd excluded my girlfriend. I realized this when all my stuff was sitting outside our apartment when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 013

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 760

You deserved it 3 862

Today, after explaining that I never want kids, I was asked, "Are you sure? I have really strong swimmers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 775

You deserved it 284

Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan. How did that happen? FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 103