Miscellaneous: Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday...

By ivyleaguebabe - 03/06/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 732

You deserved it 59 880

Miscellaneous

Dementia or hate? You decide

You tried

Finishing touch

By Debra - 14/05/2018 13:00 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I had the class clown of my preschoolers oversleep our daily 15-minute nap. Not wanting to spare any more class time on his disrupting jokes, I let the headache sleep. After another 10 minutes we called an ambulance. He had a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 911

You deserved it 978

By myles bevan - 09/09/2010 10:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 119

You deserved it 39 862

By Amazon Ruined My Life - 28/12/2018 14:00

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 3 331

By proteinboy - 16/11/2009 03:00 - United States

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 688

You deserved it 30 364

Good food

By GoulashQueen - 08/12/2019 01:00 - Australia - Brunswick

Today, I sent a dude a snapchat of my food. He responded with a video of him taking a shower, nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 473

By WishesWasDeaf - 31/01/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 751

You deserved it 3 354

By piss off - 08/04/2016 22:05 - United States - Vancouver

Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 766

You deserved it 3 174

By Anonymous - 07/07/2012 22:00 - United States - Waterford

Today, while looking through pictures of my boyfriend and me on Facebook, I noticed that in practically every single one featuring my best friend, his eyes are directed down her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 400

You deserved it 3 871

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 076

You deserved it 4 830

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 18:25 - United States

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 3 251

By Maddi - 04/05/2016 02:55 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 678

You deserved it 1 358

By mike - 04/09/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 093

You deserved it 4 509

By Stiny - 01/06/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 15 622

By JobHunter - 28/07/2009 12:27 - Malta

Today, on my way to work I stopped at a winery and spent around $120 on 2 bottles of wine for my boss, since it was his birthday. When I gave him the gift, in exchange he let me know I am being laid off - his consolation was "if you can afford this wine I'm sure you'll be OK". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 115

You deserved it 4 277

By heycutie - 15/04/2014 04:24 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 893

You deserved it 7 244

By demispark - 24/04/2013 14:10 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 250

You deserved it 4 831

By TJ - 08/08/2012 11:23 - United States - Lacey

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 434

You deserved it 2 811

By getyourownbike - 12/05/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 741

You deserved it 12 892

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 483

You deserved it 228

By meg265 - 24/10/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 028

You deserved it 9 117

By deli Shoppe - 27/06/2012 04:39 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 356

You deserved it 38 440

By FeelingFatastic - 05/01/2015 06:08 - United States

Today, my coworker asked me if I was on a diet for my New Year's resolution. When I said no, she replied, "Why not?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 4 373

By somebody - 08/06/2012 23:13 - United States - Lexington Park

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 291

You deserved it 2 066

By Anonymous - 05/09/2016 16:23 - United States - Albany

Today, discovered that all the viruses I have gotten on my computer at work haven't been from anything I've done, but because my boss has secretly been using it after hours to download or watch porn so he wouldn't risk getting a virus on his own computer. I've lost 3 major projects due to this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 972

You deserved it 898

By cerealfail - 14/11/2010 20:33

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 729

You deserved it 4 367

By anonymous - 05/09/2012 16:25 - United States - El Cajon

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 588

You deserved it 2 555

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 15:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 837

You deserved it 14 779

By loser doctor - 02/01/2009 11:14 - Philippines

Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 022

You deserved it 4 334

By ew - 04/10/2009 15:41 - United States

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 023

You deserved it 9 162

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 038

You deserved it 10 927

By erlad678 - 04/01/2011 02:59

Today, I was woken up by the sound of part of my kitchen ceiling hitting the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 612

You deserved it 2 451

By poor baby - 12/06/2015 16:51 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 012

You deserved it 5 125

Stay alert!

By thanks a lot - 26/05/2020 08:00

Today, my state began relaxing the quarantine order. We decided to take the kids for a nice picnic in the park to get them outside. First park we went to, we saw a homeless man openly pissing in the parking lot. Second park, we saw two teens fucking on the table. Day was officially ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 329

He can run, but he can't hide

By Depressedegg - 08/03/2017 18:00

Today, my toddler realised that my pregnancy means I can't move easily anymore. He celebrated his freedom by doing everything he's not allowed to, and staying just outside my reach at all times. He loves his new game, and it looks like he's not going to stop anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 622

You deserved it 784

Bad employee

By Anonymous - 18/05/2021 20:01

Today, I ran into my boss when I was at the beach. He told me he was sorry for my loss. I asked him, "What loss?" Then I remembered I’d lied about taking time off under the pretense of bereavement of my grandmother passing away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 2 557

By Anonymous - 18/06/2019 03:10

Today, I'm in my mid-twenties and just learned that I still start crying in confusing situations. I found this out by getting the wrong train in a foreign country, and then having the conductor come and tell me my ticket was only valid for the other direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 250

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 287

You deserved it 5 758

By shampoomice - 07/08/2013 16:34 - United States - La Porte

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 784

You deserved it 5 408

By thatsucks - 30/12/2010 09:39

Today, I told my best friend that I liked him and have liked him for a long time. His response was "That's cool. So, when did you get a cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 072

You deserved it 4 621

By M - 20/09/2015 23:59 - United Kingdom - Clevedon

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 159

You deserved it 2 505

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Top comments

AndelleRae 9

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:17

I voted YDI, but I think I may have been a bit hasty. Who's to say that the allergy was well known? I mean, I know parents today, and if their child is allergic to something, they don't keep it in the house. I think if they knew she was allergic to latex the wouldn't get latex non-helium balloons. If they knew about it and still got them, they should be the ones paying the hospital bill, because it's their own damn fault there were latex balloons in the first place. Chances are they didn't know, and what a way to find you. At least she's okay, right?

allsmiles 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:11

Allergic to latex? Poor girl.... ;)

hypothetically 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:07

Latex aye? lol

teehee520 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:10

Nice birthday present.

Emika_fml 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:10

That kinda sucks that you have to pay the hospital bill - it's not like you knew about her allergy before and deliberately gave the the balloons..... right?

agentx52 13

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Wednesday 29 June 2011 21:38

There's no way they can legally bill her for that, she didn't know her niece was allergic. And if she knew her rights, she wouldn't be paying a dime.

stolencookie 17

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Wednesday 15 May 2013 10:43

It's her niece. Have a freaking heart. People like you who don't take responsibility for their mistakes because you're not required to legally is what's wrong with the world.

allsmiles 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:11

Allergic to latex? Poor girl.... ;)

missmurderx 8

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Thursday 25 March 2010 3:50

gonna suck when she's older... or not ;D

campbellshayla73 0

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Tuesday 27 July 2010 20:52

I'm allergic 2 latex 2 it sucks especially when ur friends make fun of u 4 it op fyl

Lycanian 3

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Friday 5 October 2012 0:28

Gonna disappoint her boyfriend when older. Unless she doesn't mind babies on her face.

shay_serendipity 29

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Wednesday 18 March 2015 0:52

#156... please, refrain from using completely unnecessary text abbreviations. It hurts to read your comment.

fudgeml 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:13

Fail. That's what you get or being lazy

julietluvpanda 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:13

Oh, well you learned a lesson, being lazy is bad!

DippinGrizzly907 27

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Sunday 5 October 2014 14:24

Ya!!! Very bad! Being lazy is bad baaad juju...

AndelleRae 9

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:17

JFox 8

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Thursday 4 June 2009 9:18

It seems the majority of the votes are YDI. I'm going to assume you're being sarcastic when you refer to yourself as lazy. I'm sure you were off putting up streamers or something, and told the little girl "here, you want to help, too ?" Did you know she was allergic to latex ? Obviously not. How old is your niece ? If she's six or up, I say her parents should have taught her to know her allergies by now. Kids who are allergic to peanut butter, for example, have to tell cafeteria staff so. Is she the same niece that the party was for or the sibling of the birthday girl ? If so, there shouldn't be latex balloons at all. Her parents [your sister ?] should know better. Maybe the parents didn't know, but then it's nobody's fault and the parents should pay their own daughter's hospital bill. Don't they have health insurance for her ? FYL