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The all-time greatest FMLs

Average Millwall fan

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to a job interview and tried to break the ice by making a joke. In doing so, I accidentally insulted the interviewer’s favorite football team. He spent the next 10 minutes explaining why I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 519

Dial it back

By Only me - 19/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was trying to chat up a girl by showing off my new smartwatch. I proudly said, “It even reads my heartbeat!” It was 132 bpm. She looked at me and asked, “Are you OK? Or just incredibly out of shape from talking to me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 482

Introverts can relate

By Trev - 22/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was at a party when I saw a guy I vaguely recognized. I walked up to him and said, "Hey! Long time no see!" He looked confused and said, "Sorry, do I know you?" After an awkward pause, I realized I didn't know him at all - I had mistaken him for a character from a TV show I'm currently binge-watching. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 526

What have you been up to?

By I'm innocent I swear - 02/09/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 622

Why so serious?

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 12:00

Today, I attended my first Zoom meeting as a junior manager. Our CEO said she was feeling dizzy, and if anyone saw her passed out later they should get her some chocolate. Thinking she was joking, I burst out laughing. My boss quickly muted us, and told me that the CEO actually has diabetes. Nobody told me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 492

The cutest

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was getting him the “best surprise ever” for our anniversary. It turns out that we'd had the exact same idea, and bought each other the same pair of matching socks with each other's faces on them. I guess we both got the same damn ad in our Instagram feeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 442

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I spent 10 minutes searching for my phone while on a call. Turns out, I had absentmindedly put it in the freezer while grabbing a snack. It was frozen solid, but at least I found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 333

Panic!

By We almost had a collective panic attack over nothing! - 18/08/2025 13:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I checked Life360 to see how close my dad was to home. His profile stopped moving for several minutes, then it greyed out and the app said he couldn't be found. My mom and I thought something terrible had happened. After one very stressful half hour, he appeared. His phone had gone into airplane mode… somehow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 411

Signing off

By Kerrie - 05/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I gave an online presentation to an important client. After I'd done my thing, I asked if there were any questions. No one responded, so I confidently ended the call… except I hadn’t ended it and they heard me mutter, “Thank fuck that’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 581

You knew the risks…

By Kathie - 22/03/2024 19:00 - United States

Today, I got dumped. This man was my soulmate. His parents don’t like me cause I was his side chick while he was married. I know it was wrong, but the heart wants what it wants. Apparently his parents can’t let bygones be bygones, so now I’m single again and heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 1 559

Self report

By sore tongue - 01/07/2023 06:00

Today, despite knowing full well that I am allergic to citric acid, I bought and ate candy that is essentially just powdered and flavoured citric acid. Now my tongue is too swollen and painful to eat. I’m a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 1 334

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 15:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I went to the store for one thing: eggs. I came out with eggs, a new plant I didn’t need, and a jar of pickles that I’ll never eat. At least the eggs didn’t roll out of the bag this time, especially now they're practically considered a luxury item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 454

Consent

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 03:00

Today, I fully intended to start going to the gym so I set my alarm an hour early so I could go before work and get it over with. Alas, when the alarm went off and I saw that horrible "5 a.m." on my phone, my brain put me straight back to sleep without my consent. I ended up being late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 349

Staircase wit at the checkout

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 473

Hooky

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 13:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 493

It's Klug

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 03:00

Today, I brought leftovers to work in a Tupperware container for my lunch. When I opened the container in the break room, it smelled so bad everyone stopped talking. Someone asked if something was spoiled. It wasn’t. It was just my lunch. I ate it anyway, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 345

Smooth

By Chad - 27/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 601

You or the both of you?

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 1 248

Oh, right

By brainrot - 14/01/2026 03:00

Today, I spent an entire conversation nodding and agreeing with someone, only to realize near the end that I'd misunderstood one key detail and was agreeing with the opposite of what they meant. I laughed awkwardly and said, “Oh, I thought you meant the other thing.” They said, “I know.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 294

New trousers day

By Jill - 11/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I picked out the perfect combination of clothes, making sure everything matched, before heading off to work. As soon as I walked into the office, my coworker asked, “Why are you wearing pajamas?” I had no idea that my "stylish" new pants were actually a pair of super baggy pajama bottoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 460

High school drama!

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 05:00 - United States - Lawton

Today, I dumped my boyfriend before school for not putting enough effort into this relationship. He said okay, and then HE WAS WALKING WITH A WHOLE NEW GIRL AT SCHOOL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 646

Talk saucy to me

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 20:00

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 303

All cars look the same these days

By Anonymous - 07/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I hopped into what I thought was my friend’s car, sat down, and started chatting away about the trip to Vegas we were about to hit the road for. After a few moments of awkward silence, I looked up to see a terrified stranger staring at me. I was very close to getting maced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 530

Time out

By nooo - 12/07/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 939

Joe Smooth

By Anonymous - 09/12/2023 18:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 1 189

On a loop

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 05:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I got home after a long day and decided to unwind a bit. I put some porn on the TV but promptly fell asleep. I woke up three hours later to the same video playing, but realized a had left my blinds open. I broadcasted three hours of Athena Faris having sex to my whole street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 545

No joke

By ohfuxx - 23/03/2022 10:00

Today, I learned that you can't fool the self-checkout scanner by taking six items and only paying for two. Sometimes, two big security guards may grab you by both arms and take you to their office. To convince them to let me off the hook, I desperately said that it was just a joke. They weren't laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 2 572

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 527

Overzealous Fitbit

By Annoyed - 05/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I decided to try a new fitness tracker. After walking around all day, I looked at my app to check how many steps I’d taken, only to realize the tracker had counted every time I flailed my arms in frustration trying to figure out how to set it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 324

An accident?

By Clayton - 12/11/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 1 257

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 188

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 342

You deserved it 5 906

Today, I was in the hospital for 12 hours with unbearable stomach pain. Apparently I have a horrible infection in my intestines and colon. My mom is now accusing me of having anal sex and allowing a man to ejaculate into my bum. My great-grandma believes her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 624

You deserved it 748

Today, while on the way to my grandpa's funeral, my brother announced he's moving in with me. When I said no because he's a alcoholic drug addict, both him and my mum started screaming at me that I'm a horrible person and that I don't love them. It's been a hour. Only two more to go plus the return trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 88

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 167

You deserved it 8 099

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 3 923