Jeep Fail By FML Approved - 26/10/2017 22:00 - United States - New York He is not one with the force. I agree, your life sucks 236 You deserved it 400 Share Tweet Share
Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 870 You deserved it 7 752
Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML I agree, your life sucks 44 651 You deserved it 5 074
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 222 You deserved it 2 327
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML I agree, your life sucks 40 167 You deserved it 3 785
Today, after I'd bought a daily planner to write down my plans and my accomplishments for this year, we're now in March and it’s completely empty. I realized that I have no goal, no plans, nothing. FML I agree, your life sucks 724 You deserved it 270
Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 983 You deserved it 3 745
Today, after ordering at a restaurant, the waitress suddenly began acting like a bitch to me, for no apparent reason. I later found out why: most people who order that particular meal tend to argue and whine about the price. I wasn’t going to. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 105 You deserved it 74
Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 358 You deserved it 4 282
lol PRESS THE GAS
omg lmfao