By FML Approved - United States - New York Jeep Fail He is not one with the force. 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By farmingman - United States Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML I agree, your life sucks 10920 You deserved it 25273 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML I agree, your life sucks 40618 You deserved it 5277 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nalya - France Today, my fiancé told me, that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I ask him if he has anything else to add. "Happy Birthday". FML I agree, your life sucks 35847 You deserved it 2060 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheComedyAudio Today, I let my roommate borrow my car to go to the store. Later, I saw a picture on Facebook of my roommate and his buddies with my car saying, "Gone for the weekend!" I work at 8am tomorrow and he won't answer my calls. FML I agree, your life sucks 5394 You deserved it 848 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MushyKetchup - United States - Amarillo Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML I agree, your life sucks 23123 You deserved it 1972 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rob - France Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML I agree, your life sucks 30249 You deserved it 4465 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trauma is hilarious - 31/10/2020 17:59 - United States CPTSD Today, I was telling my new boyfriend some of my funny family stories. He gave me the most concerned look and asked honestly, “Have you ever thought about going to therapy?” Apparently the stories I told him not only weren’t funny, but pretty damn scary to him. Now he thinks I’m crazy. FML I agree, your life sucks 882 You deserved it 306 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blame the maid - 13/9/2020 17:02 - United States Deadly cocktail Today, my very sheltered girlfriend decided to surprise me by cleaning our apartment. Although she grew up with housekeepers and maids, I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t try cleaning the bathroom with both bleach and ammonia. We still can’t go back inside our place. FML I agree, your life sucks 1357 You deserved it 120 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NeoDepressed - Czech Republic Today my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if i want a therapist. I said idk. Then my mom said "But wait its going to cost a lot of money".. FML I agree, your life sucks 2122 You deserved it 597 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1840 You deserved it 374 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mcadabax - Canada Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML I agree, your life sucks 31174 You deserved it 3875 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML I agree, your life sucks 52823 You deserved it 7427 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Someone - Canada - Windsor Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML I agree, your life sucks 38952 You deserved it 5789 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage Today, my sister put a piece of leather in my homemade beef jerkey to prove a point. I ate it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2123 You deserved it 1319 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HighasaCloud - United States - Elkhart Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML I agree, your life sucks 34761 You deserved it 2521 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By impishsamaritan Toxic Managers Today, I had to pretend in front of our director that my manager is a nice person. In reality, she's a soul-sucking bully who has made my life so miserable that twice I was on the brink of nervous breakdown. FML I agree, your life sucks 1492 You deserved it 298 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Oh no. Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 8149 You deserved it 1576 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BookBabe - United States - Panorama City Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML I agree, your life sucks 11239 You deserved it 37789 242 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hello higher premiums, fuckwad - Canada - Montr?al Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 43910 You deserved it 3050 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By studentdriver828 - United States Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 28374 You deserved it 104240 353 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mstar - United States Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML I agree, your life sucks 19551 You deserved it 2813 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bullah007 - Pakistan - Lahore Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML I agree, your life sucks 36786 You deserved it 4401 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zzfreakshow - United States - San Francisco Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML I agree, your life sucks 44725 You deserved it 5007 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CloroxDoggo - United States Today, I was meeting up with a friend in a town. He said he was at the restaurant we were going to meet at; I was too. Turns out I was in the wrong town. FML I agree, your life sucks 9311 You deserved it 1991 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - New York Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML I agree, your life sucks 44680 You deserved it 3490 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ugly - United States Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML I agree, your life sucks 41385 You deserved it 3743 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Gladewater Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML I agree, your life sucks 56018 You deserved it 6382 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sarahijklmnop - United States - Louisville Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML I agree, your life sucks 27012 You deserved it 2004 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Glassless Today, I lost my glasses. I don't have spares but my girlfriend said I could borrow hers. She doesn't understand why this won't work. FML I agree, your life sucks 4056 You deserved it 464 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML I agree, your life sucks 13551 You deserved it 51023 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 97748 You deserved it 22897 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thanks a lot - United States - Chestnut Hill Today, I babysat for my neighbor's brat kid. The mom gave me $15 for 5 hours. I complained to my mom when I got home because last time I got $15/hour. Turns out my mom had told my neighbor that she thought they'd paid me too much last time. Thanks mom. Thanks. FML I agree, your life sucks 28181 You deserved it 1997 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By neednewfriends - United States Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML I agree, your life sucks 32265 You deserved it 2922 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noway - France - Cholet Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML I agree, your life sucks 47811 You deserved it 5283 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HM - Germany Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML I agree, your life sucks 42674 You deserved it 3565 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 23:03 - Canada Fucking Facebook memories Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1644 You deserved it 107 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML I agree, your life sucks 27687 You deserved it 1897 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jwz - Netherlands Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML I agree, your life sucks 14399 You deserved it 79941 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02 Denied Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML I agree, your life sucks 651 You deserved it 259 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/5/2020 23:05 What a charmer Today, after surgery on Monday, I can’t do much because of where my scars are until they heal. My husband won’t clean the house at all, dishes are all over my kitchen bar, laundry is all piled up by the washing machine. When I asked for help, he said it’s not his job. FML I agree, your life sucks 2055 You deserved it 537 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By solversilversilver | 3 #7615780 - Monday 26 March 2018 12:37 lol PRESS THE GAS Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By solversilversilver | 3 #7615780 - Monday 26 March 2018 12:37 lol PRESS THE GAS Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 248 You deserved it 17 1 Comments
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking... I agree, your life sucks 78 You deserved it 591 7 Comments