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Obsessional

By Jacklynn - 30/11/2023 10:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML
I agree, your life sucks 219
You deserved it 1 195

Same thing different taste

Top comments

MistressAfrodite 5

sorry for your loss. but he’s not wrong. you need to build a life outside of your partner. it’s really emotionally taxing for you to be someone’s everything. codependency is not healthy at all. likely he can’t handle the mental load of having to be your full full support while also dealing with his own life and shit. Find you a good therapist and work through these issues. he should have never been your ONLY friend. good luck.

TomeDr 24

He’s probably right. It’s not healthy to have no interests outside of your boyfriend.

Comments

TomeDr 24

He’s probably right. It’s not healthy to have no interests outside of your boyfriend.

OniKudaki 6

What life experience do you have that helped you come to this conclusion?

MistressAfrodite 5

sorry for your loss. but he’s not wrong. you need to build a life outside of your partner. it’s really emotionally taxing for you to be someone’s everything. codependency is not healthy at all. likely he can’t handle the mental load of having to be your full full support while also dealing with his own life and shit. Find you a good therapist and work through these issues. he should have never been your ONLY friend. good luck.

Yeah, I think most healthy people would run from that. You need to be your own healthy, happy person before you can be in a healthy, happy relationship. You can’t expect a romantic partner to be everything.

Please, please, please don’t ever submit your entire existence to your partner. We all need to be our own person and develop our own personalities, your differences is what will attract a partner in the first place. Take this as an opportunity to love and work on yourself.

Yup, it is smothering to have a barnacle. We want partners who have their own wonderfully full lives who we can share adventures and woes with, not husks of humans. Codependency isn't love, it's from trauma.

I know it's a painful way to learn this lesson, but he's right. How do you even define yourself as a person if you have no friends, hobbies, or interests. Would you want to date someone like that?