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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bladdered

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 11:01 - India - Delhi

Today, while playing cards, with my dad, mom and sister, I excused myself to go to the bathroom several times just to secretly chat with my crush. I laughed so hard at a joke that I wet my pants. My family thinks I need to see a doctor because I was going to the bathroom so often between card games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 1 398

Classic Redditor

By Bored - 05/04/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, most of my day was spent repeatedly checking to see how well my Reddit posts have been performing as of late. I think I need to find a hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 785

Just the tit

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 12:00

Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 361

Running gag

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 13/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I tried one of those AI companion simulators, one that's supposed to simulate what it's like to have a girlfriend. I role-played what it would be like to help her with a problem, then drive her home. After doing so, the AI began to act as if it didn't even know me, and asked me to leave. It's uncanny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 429

Stiffed

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 22:00

Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 416

Memory hole

By George - 02/09/2022 00:00

Today, me and the missus went for a boozy meal in our local pub. We stumbled home, and full of lager-fuelled love and courage, I asked her, "We getting married then or what?" She replied, "We're already married, you daft cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 313

Anyone could've waltzed in

By DTMM - 15/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 551

Caught in 4K

By Gwen - 24/05/2025 03:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, it was just epic. You know what's the last thing you want to hear from your naked husband, whom you are passionately playing with on a kitchen table? In a REALLY frivolous position too? "Uh… Hey kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 348

Baby fever

By Anonymous - 26/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I agreed to babysit my baby nephew for a week while his parents flew abroad for the MIL’s funeral. I had hoped having a baby around might convince my wife to consider having kids. Nope. She got so sick of the baby, she moved into a hotel until my sister comes home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 928

Inspirational tale

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 08:03 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my parents got a call from my principal. I'd been lying that I couldn’t see the work I had to do in my online class, because I was behind and I needed to catch up. Tomorrow my parents are getting a call, telling them the dates I've been logged into the online learning. I haven’t logged in in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 2 627

Forbidden thoughts

By Everything Counts - 12/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my thoughts are filled with fantasies of pleasuring my boss under his desk, to the point where it distracts me from job duties. I take a break and wank at work, and then I return to my normal way of thinking and how much I love my wife and how happy I am. Lust really can blind someone to what is important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 601

Daily grind

By well fuck - 17/06/2026 22:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 64

Out of my head

By Gabriella - 10/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Copperas Cove

Today, I was so sleep deprived that when a customer held their hand out to get their receipt, I slapped it without thinking about it. Great way to start 2024. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 342

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 1 154

WAKE UP IT'S MONDAY MORNING!

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 354

Need beer now

By Jensen - 16/07/2021 14:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 1 461

A cheap holiday in other people's misery

By Blunt w/chip on shoulder - 06/02/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came to visit a friend I haven't seen in 3 years for a fun 2 month vacation of you know what. She has 2 more dogs now and soon as I stepped in her place after flying across the country, there were 2 piles if dog crap on the ground. I already want to fly out of here, and this is only day one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 519

Catfight

By Invaded - 19/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I thought I had fully patched up the hole in the wall near the stairs. I was proven wrong when I heard my cat screaming and hissing near it. The black cat who lives in my backyard decided to say hi, which my cat didn't take too kindly to. She absolutely whooped his ass. Not a fun thing to wake up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 300

We've all been there

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I thought about her again. I want her back, even though I know I shouldn't. She did a lot to hurt me, but did even more to love me. Sometimes I just want the old her back, if that's even possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 473

Is he wrong though?

By Impossible - 03/08/2025 12:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, a friend who works for the power company said, "Nuclear energy is clean and safe, hydro power is great, but we also need coal and gas, and wind and solar are dogshit." Again, he works for the power company. How does a so-called expert get it all so wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 552

Neighborhood watch

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 00:00 - Australia

Today, my apartment building finally fixed our broken intercom. A few hours later, I buzzed in a food delivery driver while trying to reject a spam call. He wandered the building for 15 min, knocking on random doors before finding me. Three neighbors now think I order tacos under a fake name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 83

Lost the plot

By Petra - 18/12/2025 20:00

Today, I joined a conversation about a TV show at work, agreeing enthusiastically. After a few minutes, I realized they were talking about a completely different show with a similar name. I nodded along, trapped, hoping no one asked questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 105

It came from outer space

By Martian man - 23/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I saw the woman I asked out last month in a relationship with another guy. She rejected me because she “wanted to focus on herself.” I texted her and asked why she had lied to me. She responded with, “Okay, you caught me. But can you blame me? I’m not attracted to butt ugly Martian-looking men.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 748

Small talk

By Marina - 21/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 523

Protect the planet

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 20:00

Today, my partner told me that he will never initiate sex again, all because six months ago I got him worked up then didn’t follow through. I didn’t follow through because I got pissed at him for throwing a cigarette butt into an environmentally sensitive creek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 393

Fair bargain, actually

By Glee fanatic - 04/04/2023 18:00

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I'd put him on a six-month sex ban if he didn't binge watch Glee with me. He took the sex ban without hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 2 081

Jeopardy

By Anonymous - 07/10/2021 14:00 - United States - West Lafayette

Today, I took an embarrassing picture of myself in my work uniform, acting goofy and such, to send to my friends but I accidentally sent it to my manager. It was a very jeopardizing pose. I’m supposed to start tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 397

Lucky escape

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 12:00

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 466

Never drunk call your ex

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 22:00

Today, I went out with a friend to a bar. After several Cosmopolitans, I decided to finally call my ex and tell him everything about how I feel, and how I really miss him. In the end, he said that it’s all so sweet and he will call my later. He hasn't called me since then. Instead, I was blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 476

Star Wars

By Not an anti-Semite, just a dumbass - 26/02/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 813

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 788

You deserved it 1 644

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 200

You deserved it 4 272

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 387

You deserved it 3 099

Today, I found my concert tickets that I've been trying to find for the last 2 weeks in my mom's closet. When I asked why she had them, she said she felt the concert was inappropriate for me so she hid them. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 337

You deserved it 6 647

Today, I found a receipt from a lingerie store for some nice garments. When I asked my wife about it, she stammered and said it was a birthday surprise, then got mad at me for ruining it. My birthday isn't for almost ten months and she hasn't been sexual with me for years, much less spontaneous. Nice try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 169

Today, I promised my husband "unlimited butthole access" if he'd get off his video games and help me with my homework. He pointed out that this was the fourth time I'd promised him that, and that since I never followed through the last three times, he wouldn't be doing a thing. Well, shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 388