By Lewis - France - Paris What my mornings look like now that I have children Parenthood is no joke. 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sir Smokalot - France Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML I agree, your life sucks 43084 You deserved it 2864 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ew-dles Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML I agree, your life sucks 3353 You deserved it 600 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Diana Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML I agree, your life sucks 42023 You deserved it 3460 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatemakingnames - United Kingdom - London Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML I agree, your life sucks 32125 You deserved it 2745 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By L_lives - United States - San Francisco Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML I agree, your life sucks 30375 You deserved it 2951 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/3/2020 23:00 Stuck in TV Hell Today, I'm self isolating with a mother who hogs the remote but doesn't know how to use it, and is so short-sighted she can barely see the TV. Every five minutes, I hear, "What have I done now?", "How have I got onto this then?" and she won't let me help her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1436 You deserved it 169 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pantless - Australia - Sydney Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML I agree, your life sucks 8200 You deserved it 10527 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TooShortToCleanThat - United States Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML I agree, your life sucks 31357 You deserved it 3738 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By childhoodupinsmoke - United States - Austin Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML I agree, your life sucks 33012 You deserved it 3480 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Skylan - France Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML I agree, your life sucks 11757 You deserved it 58564 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By That'sMyBoy - Australia - Abbotsford Today, I put glue traps around my home to catch spiders. So far, the only thing dumb enough to get caught in one is my 10-year-old son. FML I agree, your life sucks 3880 You deserved it 709 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 1378 - Australia Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML I agree, your life sucks 21088 You deserved it 2961 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML I agree, your life sucks 42625 You deserved it 15212 315 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By riappp - United States Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 24842 You deserved it 41550 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nattnatt73 - United States - Marion Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 14754 You deserved it 1851 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ParkingGuy - United States Today, while working as a parking booth attendant I decided to be nice and offer a woman free parking. I said, "give me a high five and I'll give you free parking since I already did the paper work." She said, "I'd rather pay," with a really disgusted look. I also had to redo the paper work. FML I agree, your life sucks 44371 You deserved it 8487 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Mexico Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML I agree, your life sucks 32067 You deserved it 2783 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gfg - Romania Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML I agree, your life sucks 173302 You deserved it 24508 268 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By uggghhhh Today, it's 3 days before Christmas and my first day of holidays. Today is also the first day I have been sick all year. Hello tonsillitis, goodbye fun. FML I agree, your life sucks 7135 You deserved it 636 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bryans_fresh - United States Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him as well as my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worth $0. I said yes. He cut the wrong card. FML I agree, your life sucks 60391 You deserved it 4738 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stitchesupmyass - United States Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML I agree, your life sucks 48587 You deserved it 4658 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheSneakyNugget - United States - Pleasanton Today, I watched a large, sweaty woman stick a hairbrush down her shirt to scratch a rash on her back, before putting it back on the shelf. FML I agree, your life sucks 16248 You deserved it 1077 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spiderwoman - Iceland - Reykjav Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML I agree, your life sucks 22647 You deserved it 13527 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mcdonalds - United States Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML I agree, your life sucks 61096 You deserved it 4790 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By krray Suspense Today, I was walking up the stairs with my lunch behind a heavy co-worker. His arms were full, and step by step, as we went up the stairs his pants dropped a little further. By the time we reached the top, his knickers were below his knees and it was a full moon. I prayed he wouldn't fart on my food. FML I agree, your life sucks 4848 You deserved it 667 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By please stay on the line Today, I was sitting in the break room when my boss came in and yelled at me about a mistake. Because I've worked in customer service for years, I instinctively responded with, "I'm terribly sorry to hear that, sir. I hope you'll still consider us in the future." FML I agree, your life sucks 5772 You deserved it 826 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Elwood Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML I agree, your life sucks 43444 You deserved it 3349 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By huh - United Kingdom - Troon Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML I agree, your life sucks 32685 You deserved it 2602 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PaperInfection - United States Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32185 You deserved it 5668 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Amy - United States Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML I agree, your life sucks 44838 You deserved it 5956 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justfriends - United States Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML I agree, your life sucks 33684 You deserved it 2465 229 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DL06 - United States Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML I agree, your life sucks 74349 You deserved it 12521 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Beaumont Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML I agree, your life sucks 40370 You deserved it 8338 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/4/2020 08:03 Old Man Blues Today, I seriously strained my back picking up my daughter. I’m only 22 and now I have a bad back a man in his 70s would be proud of. FML I agree, your life sucks 1279 You deserved it 244 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By screwedupfuck - United States - Lowell Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 27371 You deserved it 6025 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By violet - United States Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML I agree, your life sucks 39966 You deserved it 3439 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LonelyAngel22 Today, out of curiosity, I took an online test to see if I have ADHD. Halfway through, I got so distracted and bored that I gave up. Guess I know the answer. FML I agree, your life sucks 8357 You deserved it 1525 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WTF Lady? - 8/4/2020 20:00 Rod Stewart was wrong Today, I was walking down my street when a girl came up behind me and started yelling about me being a slut. When she saw I was the wrong person, she continued to yell at me because I have blonde hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 1762 You deserved it 129 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anuszopekanus - 14/6/2020 14:02 No money, though Today, after 3 months of quarantine being totally broke, I was finally glad to get back to work. I found out that they no longer need me because "there's no money" to pay me. As I was leaving, I saw freshly renovated rooms, a huge new plasma, and a crowd of workers busy expanding the summer terrace. FML I agree, your life sucks 1593 You deserved it 203 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By :x - United States - Richmond Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML I agree, your life sucks 33755 You deserved it 5304 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eyepuppy | 31 #7733905 - Thursday 6 December 2018 18:45 And I wouldn't have it any other way. Kids are the best! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By adelaine782002 | 17 #7733561 - Thursday 6 December 2018 3:58 begone scammer! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By OhhKristin | 11 #7733367 - Wednesday 5 December 2018 19:46 Earn extra money for the holidays just by posting links! http://MyMoneyHour.com/?userid=340516 Send a private message 0 7 Reply
Reply adelaine782002 | 17 #7733561 - Thursday 6 December 2018 3:58 begone scammer! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By melisssa87 | 30 #7733392 - Wednesday 5 December 2018 20:43 Don’t you just hand it to the father then or something? Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By eyepuppy | 31 #7733905 - Thursday 6 December 2018 18:45 And I wouldn't have it any other way. Kids are the best! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 418 You deserved it 48 11 Comments
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 543 You deserved it 48 2 Comments