The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

This charming man

By NoAlibi - 06/05/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I learned that it’s unwise to ask my cheating boyfriend, “What does she have that I don’t?” I was reduced to tears when he told me every single detail this new girl has that makes her so amazing. Now I’m researching plastic surgery and tummy tuck websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 344

I'm only sleeping

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 12:00 - Germany

Today, my body has decided that sleeping past 4 a.m. is strange idea and should be resisted. It is also of the opinion that any duration of sleep less than 10 hours per night constitutes a lack thereof, which deserves physical signs of tiredness, like looking several years older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 136

Neverending cycle

By Eiblake13 - 07/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 161

Watch out for them slappers

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 14:01

Today, my medium-sized poxer dog was sitting on my lap. He shook his head, managing to slap me in the face with his ears three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 296

Long long long

By Anonymous - 21/10/2023 14:00

Today, I had to turn down a job offer that would have been perfect for me because post-Covid fatigue syndrome is kicking my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 263

Go home

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 10:00

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 98

Some winners…

By brawl y’all - 31/10/2020 17:04 - United States

Today, what started as a family gathering turned into an all-out brawl. I saw my son’s wife punch him, so I hit her. Her mom and sister jumped me. My husband was pulling them off when the other husband thought he was attacking them and jumped in, so my son jumped in as well. We won, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 1 169

Sigma grindset

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my dad tells everyone I’m still living in his house farting around on the internet. I’m a software engineer and I invest in the stock markets. I live in his house because I bought it off him when he fell behind on his own mortgage. I’ve been earning more than him since I was 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 88

Classifieds

By Anonymous - 18/08/2023 06:00 - Germany

Today, my online ad was deleted for being in the wrong category. I'm looking for a good home for two old horses, so I'd put the ad in the category “Horses”. Maybe I should try again under “Lawn Mowers”? FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 72

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 185

By no2057 - 09/12/2013 11:00 - Mexico - Montreuil

Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the median strip and continue the wrong way up the other side of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 101

Disconnected

By Nothing for me? - 09/02/2023 00:00

Today, after realizing just how stressful my week is going to be, I gave my girlfriend a massage, hoping for some stress relieving sex. I rubbed her for 30 minutes, then she said that she didn't feel "connected" with me and went to sleep. Isn't the point of sex to connect? FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 1 618

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter asked me if I could have the kids overnight, even though I’d babysat all day, all because she just got home and was too tired to make the drive to pick them up. She only lives two minutes away. I can see her house from my bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 156

I can explain!

By carrieholden82 - 11/07/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I got proposed to by my long-term best friend, my boyfriend. I panicked and thought of the last time that I got left at the altar by who I thought was the love of my life then, and inadvertently said “No” as a defense mechanism. I’m the most hated person in our social circle, and he’s inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 1 344

Many such cases?

By Why Universe? Why!? - 20/04/2026 00:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my girlfriend's mom and my dad met for the first time. We discovered that they are each other's exes, and not only that, my girlfriend, whom I have been dating, hanging out, confiding with, being intimate with, shared each other's first times, and plan to marry, is actually my half-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 65

You talking to me?

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 91

Petrol head

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, while on a road trip with my friends, we stopped at a gas station to fill up. While I was pumping gas, a gust of wind blew my hat off and it landed in a puddle of gasoline. When I picked it up, my hands were covered in gasoline, so I smelled like a gas station for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 226

Crushed

By Marea90h - 23/06/2023 22:00

Today, I realized that I kinda have a crush on my sister-in-law. Mind you I'm a woman and her boyfriend of 5 years is my fiancé's brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 274

That'll be a no from me, dawg

By Anonymous - 25/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, despite knowing that I hate being the center of attention (and think that public proposals are stupid anyway), my boyfriend popped the question at a crowded hockey game. I threw up all over him, with thousands of people watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 154

NFT FML

By Chris - 12/03/2021 20:01

Today, I'm still trying to get my head around what NFTs are, even though my friend walked me through the whole thing during an hour-long conversation. I guess I'm dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 160

Dork

By Four Eyes - 29/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw my grandma for the first time since I got new glasses. Wanting to be different, I got crystal colored ones instead of black. She said, "Thank God. You looked so dorky with your giant nerd glasses!" Love you too, grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 192

Masterchef

By Uh-SLEEP - 11/12/2020 11:01 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 82

Gentle prank

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 04:58 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my little sister swapped out the hard white cheese on the meat-cheese platter with slices of white chocolate and put some Skittles into the bowl of M&M's. My limited circle of friends and family in our safe social pandemic bubble think it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 111

Incapacitated

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new workout routine at the gym. I was feeling great until I dropped a big-ass weight on my foot and had to go to the hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctor told me that I had a broken toe and would need to wear a cast for six weeks. The worst part? I have a job interview next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 176

Smooth blend

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 16:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 363

By anonyme - 28/06/2013 00:13 - France

Today, I’m a trainee who recently arrived in a prestigious company. My boss walked in on me sorting paper clips by size. I’m now in charge of doing the same thing in every office on our floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 134

Fairy tale

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 20:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I found out that an annoying guy who had asked me out spread a nasty rumour after I stood him up. According to him, I not only showed up to our date, I also went home with him, had advanced sex with him, then in the morning when he woke up, I was having sex with his roommate. All our friends believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 359

The long goodbye

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 148

Not yet

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 04:00

Today, my husband's friend and I realised that we have mutual feelings of attraction for each other. We're both in struggling marriages, which we don't want to give up on yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 510

Humblebrag much?

By Anonymous - 02/06/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, my fling with a local waiter ended. I'm studying for a professional designation exam, I make $130k/year, and I have a lake house in the mountains. He smokes pot in his mom's basement, has been arrested for stealing, has totaled 3 cars, and would rather collect unemployment than work. He dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 2 597

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The Top

Today, I was working on a project in my school's library when a group of teenagers came in and began talking and laughing and being loud. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 920

You deserved it 2 461

Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 512

You deserved it 3 812

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 676

You deserved it 4 192

Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 349

You deserved it 509

Madame is not pleased.

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 166

Today, my wife decided to take from our savings and donate £500 to the church “for the starving people.” I wasn’t aware crooked priests were starving but hey ho, now she’s mad at me I cancelled the cheque since I would like to retire before I’m 80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 133