The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Fight Club

By Back to youtube - 23/10/2023 22:00

Today, two weeks after I got my girlfriend's son to watch old Tom & Jerry cartoons instead of those awful YouTube kids channels, he got in trouble at school for whapping another kid in the face with a toy mallet. He mentioned he wanted to be like Jerry. I'm a dead man when my girlfriend hears this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 280

Suffer, puny human

By Heartbroken cat owner - 07/12/2022 02:00

Today, I've realized my cat only comes into my room to stare out the window for like two or three minutes before leaving. I have insomnia, so I wouldn't mind having him nearby, but this is unfortunately the only time he wants nothing to do with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 140

Disconnected

By Nothing for me? - 09/02/2023 00:00

Today, after realizing just how stressful my week is going to be, I gave my girlfriend a massage, hoping for some stress relieving sex. I rubbed her for 30 minutes, then she said that she didn't feel "connected" with me and went to sleep. Isn't the point of sex to connect? FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 1 609

Sleeping on the kitchen floor

By Covid_countdown - 25/08/2022 12:00

Today, my fiancée and I slept in separate rooms, even though we're now considered married based on a Congolese ceremony we had, because I got Covid. We will have two bedrooms in our next place, but the lease starts next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 201

You must conform!

By a disabled man with big hands - 24/05/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, my boss got mad at me for not wearing the gloves I'm provided at work. They're way too small, not to mention the fact that I have a disability which makes it even harder to put them on. What do you expect me to do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 182

I can explain!

By carrieholden82 - 10/07/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I got proposed to by my long-term best friend, my boyfriend. I panicked and thought of the last time that I got left at the altar by who I thought was the love of my life then, and inadvertently said “No” as a defense mechanism. I’m the most hated person in our social circle, and he’s inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 1 336

Irritable

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 00:00

Today, as I have lately, I’ve been feeling like my boss finds any excuse to be upset with me and tell me how I’m doing wrong, when most times it’s just so stupid there’s really no point in it. For reference, I work in long term care. I messaged her and she got upset with me because she saw my name pop up and overreacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 98

Pull the plug

By Loud - 11/01/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I tried to turn my TV up. Unfortunately, the volume button got stuck, so it ended up turning all the way up to the max while I was listening to an already very loud song. If my neighbors didn't know I listen to a lot of blues rock, they do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 254

Go long

By Ungrateful - 04/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 132

Cough up, loser

By Kushi - 30/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in rush hour traffic and rushed to the daycare to pick my daughter up. They charged me a late fee for being one minute late. ONE minute. When I protested, the lady said she was gonna scream and call the police if I didn’t pay. It was my last $100 before next payday… next Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 188

Transactional

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I set up a nice picnic style dinner in our living room for my wife. No special occasion, just because, but when she got home and saw it, all I got was a “great, and I suppose you’ll want sex for this?” then she made herself a sandwich and went to bed, no explanation. Why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 131

Call CPS, quick

By jessloveskate - 22/06/2022 12:00

Today, I saw a kid throwing a tantrum in a supermarket. Thinking it was a matter of lack of discipline, I waited for the kid’s mother to come out of the bathroom to tell her how naughty her son was being. I then got to watch her beat her son to the point of unconsciousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 1 470

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 139

Busted

By Sometimes you gotta get tough - 02/01/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 115

Gender bending

By DaddyDoesn'tLoveMe - 16/05/2022 22:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at age thirty, my dad gave me the first compliment he's ever given me: "Remember to wash the pan out. Oh, and good job doing your chores and your mother's today." And everyone wonders why it took until last year for me to figure out I'm the same gender as this shitbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 397

Tough choices

By Anonymous - 05/12/2023 20:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I was told by my doctor that I could keep taking my Rheumatoid Arthritis meds and be severely depressed, or go off of them, possibly not be depressed, but be in extreme pain. I’m deciding between my mental health and physical health and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 114

Let 'em in

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Västerås

Today, it's been a little while since I found out that my parents are getting a divorce. They'd been married for 25 years and my father got bored and lost feelings. My mother is crying and howling on the bathroom floor right now. It has happened before, but since it was in our upstairs bathroom, I could open the door with a knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 146

Watch out for them slappers

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 14:01

Today, my medium-sized poxer dog was sitting on my lap. He shook his head, managing to slap me in the face with his ears three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 295

Crushed

By Marea90h - 23/06/2023 22:00

Today, I realized that I kinda have a crush on my sister-in-law. Mind you I'm a woman and her boyfriend of 5 years is my fiancé's brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 272

Alexa, play "This is a Low" by Blur

By IHaveThePower - 17/08/2023 07:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, the month-long muscle spasms that have been shoving my hips out of joint went to a new low. My whole body feels like I have the flu, with muscle aches and tension. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome does not mix well with PMDD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 105

Dirty girl

By I like sex dirty but not THAT dirty! - 20/07/2024 11:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is upset because I’ve been turning him down when he tries to initiate sex as soon as I walk in the door. I work 12 hour shifts as an ER nurse and the thought of getting into bed without showering away all the day's germs repulses me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 177

Cynicism is exhausting

By Lonesome Traveler - 23/12/2024 07:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, some idiot kid teased and taunted me for weeping on my "already bad performance", recording it on his phone threatening to put it on social media. I was singing and playing the guitar, in front of my childhood sweetheart, and supposedly soon-to-be wife's grave. It was our song. I do this every year on this day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 126

Holy cultural stereotype Batman!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2023 22:00

Today, our new neighbour three doors up just moved in, he even came round to introduce himself to everyone to assure us he means to be a good neighbour, and won’t be too noisy. Six hours later we found out he’s Scottish and likes to practise his bagpipes in the back garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 131

Gentle prank

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 22:58 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my little sister swapped out the hard white cheese on the meat-cheese platter with slices of white chocolate and put some Skittles into the bowl of M&M's. My limited circle of friends and family in our safe social pandemic bubble think it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 110

I'm only sleeping

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 12:00 - Germany

Today, my body has decided that sleeping past 4 a.m. is strange idea and should be resisted. It is also of the opinion that any duration of sleep less than 10 hours per night constitutes a lack thereof, which deserves physical signs of tiredness, like looking several years older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 135

Danger zone

By Agony! Agony! Agony! - 03/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's needy five year-old tried to swing on my arm while I was cutting celery. I needed seven stitches. Later, my girlfriend complained that I should have cleaned up the blood because she's squeamish, and that I upset her son by yelling and cussing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 139

Incapacitated

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new workout routine at the gym. I was feeling great until I dropped a big-ass weight on my foot and had to go to the hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctor told me that I had a broken toe and would need to wear a cast for six weeks. The worst part? I have a job interview next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 176

Petrol head

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, while on a road trip with my friends, we stopped at a gas station to fill up. While I was pumping gas, a gust of wind blew my hat off and it landed in a puddle of gasoline. When I picked it up, my hands were covered in gasoline, so I smelled like a gas station for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 226

Outsmarted

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 11:30

Today, my son is smarter than average, almost genius level, and he has now reached an age where not only does he question me at every turn, he actually out-argues me 90% of the time and I can’t do anything about it because technically he’s right and I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 377

Start worrying

By Unattractive brunette - 13/07/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 155

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 385

You deserved it 6 557

Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 706

You deserved it 4 984

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 4 242

Today, my cheating ex-boyfriend was offered the job we both interviewed for. I helped him with his cover letter before I found out about the affair. I've been unemployed for almost two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 007

You deserved it 4 235

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 906

You deserved it 2 351

Today, at dinner, my downstairs neighbors described how they can hear most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew that it's not my phone that's vibrating at that time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 546

You deserved it 5 988