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The all-time greatest FMLs

Blue Christmas

By xlees - 02/12/2021 16:58 - New Zealand

Today, my mum told me she would rather spend Christmas with her boyfriend than with her own family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 200

Good spirited

By Elle - 28/12/2022 04:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, it was a normal day working as a medical receptionist, until I told a wheelchair-bound patient to “take a seat” out of habit. She responded with, “I brought my own!” I have never felt more embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 311

It's not for everyone

By Stacey - 07/05/2022 22:00

Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 181

It's not

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 00:00

Today, a guy I met online cancelled meeting me for the second time. The first time was because of work, and this time because of a game. I don't understand why was i even looking forward to meeting him, and I feel like it's all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 156

Golden

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 20:01

Today, one of the dogs I’m walking stops to sniff something, then raises his leg to pee on it. The other dog, wanting to sniff that same spot, then goes and sticks his head right under his buddy’s raised leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 153

Certainly seems like it

By Red Head Redemption - 08/12/2022 00:00

Today, I dyed my hair red. Everyone I've met who knows my real hair color has accused me of being an attention seeker, or thinks I lost a bet. I just thought I would look more attractive if my hair was red. Is that a crime? FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 206

Assumptions

By Heather Scurfield - 06/03/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Witney

Today, at work, I had some palpitations, which ultimately caused me to become hot, dizzy, and pass out. I couldn't go home because we were so short staffed, and three different colleagues asked me if I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 90

Petty

By Kamilah - 03/05/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I learned that my husband “accidentally” let the dog out and allowed her to be eaten by an alligator because I got a male coworker, who is also a good friend of mine, a birthday present. We had an argument about our friendship, which apparently bothers him. I’d had that dog since I was a junior in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 151

Weird reason, but OK

By Anonymous - 30/01/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, sitting in my car, an hour into a four-hour trip. The reason? I haven't been lifting with him at his gym during the COVID-19 pandemic. The kicker? We were headed back after a stay-cation with his mom, because yesterday was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 127

Backfired

By Anonymous - 25/08/2022 00:00

Today, it was a coworker's last day. Over the last 6 months, he has been talking smack about me because he assumed I'd ratted him out for a Facebook post, ranting about our place of employment. I decided to confront him after work to let him know that I didn't do it. He then reported me for harassment to all of my supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 248

Does this smell weird?

By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 15:05 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I found out that the shampoo I’ve been using has yogurt in, following a prank my boyfriend did. Turns out he forgot about it and I’ve been using it for 5 days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 130

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 154

Big farmer

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 19:00 - Romania

Today, and for years, I have been on a medication for a neurological disease that put many restrictions on me. My doctor had finally told me that the medication was working very well and lifted some of my restrictions. I then found out that the drug is no longer sold in my country, and that there is no substitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 107

I'm an excellent driver

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 20:00

Today, I got in the car with my brother, who drives all the time with his eyes glued to his phone. We stopped at a red light, it turned green. I noticed that he was still looking down and told him the car ahead was moving. I then got screamed at, saying how I'm always right, how my friends suck, and how he wished I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 156

Neglect

By letthemcomelivewithmeyouselfishtwat! - 14/02/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, I confronted my sister for teaching her kids “extreme independence”. It’s really just code for doing the absolute bare minimum required by law to keep them out of foster care so she can spend every waking moment with her new boyfriend. If I cut her out, I’ll never see my nephews again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 96

Never again

By fat inspiration - 24/02/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my ex needs motivation to go to the gym, she posts a picture of herself in a pair of huge pants with the caption, “NEVER AGAIN!” Problem? They’re my pants, that I'd left at her place after we broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 221

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 349

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 20:00 - United States - Enid

Today, my 24 year-old boyfriend said that he wanted to move out of our apartment, but also stay in a relationship. He's moving back in with his parents, over two hours away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 134

Mission: Do it all over

By SonjaPea - 27/08/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom - Stevenage

Today, I spent 5 hours working on emails for work in a desperate attempt to get back on top of my task list. Having written about 45 emails waiting in my outbox to go out first thing Monday morning, Outlook has "stopped responding". I might've just lost them all and worked through the day for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 161

Smart criminals

By Annette - 27/11/2020 23:01

Today, I came out to find my truck window broken. They broke into my truck to yank out the stereo. It was unlocked the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 104

Hogwatch

By QAnon ruined my mom - 22/08/2023 06:00

Today, and over the past few weeks, my mom has cried, ranted, and posted unhinged TikToks, more than when my sister was almost killed in the meadow behind our house by a drunken hunter, all this because her favorite 'politician' has "unfairly" been indicted several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 193

Obey

By Monica - 02/07/2022 16:00

Today, I was looking forward to languishing on the beach for a few days of a “much needed vacation” when I literally got called back into work on my way to the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 151

Mystery unwanted gift

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 07:59 - Australia - Bendigo

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

Heavy load

By alyssa ig idk - 21/12/2022 18:00 - United States - Taylor

Today, I realized why my sister has had so many fluids coming out of her, yet I was sick too and nothing was coming out. It's because everything I ate in the past 72 hours was piling up in my ass, and just came out as a monster 5 times bigger than normal, and left my ass on fire for 45 minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 162

Controlling

By EzcemaQueen - 30/08/2023 14:00

Today, I found out why all my packages have been systematically disappearing. My husband throws them out because he’s “sick of my selfish online shopping spree habits.” That would be more understandable if I had actually been online shopping, and not ordering my special eczema toiletries and medications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 147

Surprise!

By Michelle - 17/10/2023 23:00 - United States - Stormville

Today, the guy I was dating for over a year would only perform oral on me and never sex. I couldn’t figure out why. We grinded a few times. I got pregnant but couldn’t figure out how, because I didn’t have sex. Apparently his penis, hard, is the size of my pinkie. We were having sex, I just never felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 338

Keep busy, don't think of the void

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 20:00

Today, we had a meeting at work, during which I got reprimanded for "disappearing." I'm the only one who constantly stays busy, since I'm broken in a way that my self-worth directly correlates with how productive I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 135

Faithfull

By Anonymous - 20/09/2023 00:02

Today, my date walked out on me after I told him I was devout in my beliefs, including saving myself until marriage. Apparently, meeting me at Sunday services didn’t twig him to my faith, and he actually thought religious girls were all secret sluts like in the pornos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 374

Working conditions

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I'm sitting in a disgustingly hot office with all the windows thrown open. There is no fan, and the owner won't let us use the air conditioner. The smell of mold permeates the room from the ceiling, giving me headaches by the end of the day. The owner refuses to get someone in to clean it. I can't quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 156

Denied

By bl4ckk4t - 19/08/2021 08:01 - Australia - Morwell

Today, the guy I've been dating online for the last year and who I'm madly in love with blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 286

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 912

You deserved it 6 024

Today, I finally watched Everything Everywhere All at Once. All it did was make me feel deeply depressed, because I know I'm such an exceptional loser that I don't deserve for anyone to care about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 227

Today, when I woke up, I quickly pulled the bed sheet with my right arm to get out of the bed. I failed to notice that a big portion of the sheet was pinned under my body. My arm dislocated and I fainted because of the pain. Great way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 841

You deserved it 735

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 589

You deserved it 48 771

Today, I received a housewarming gift from an easily offended friend of mine. I recently explained to her how terrible I am at keeping plants alive. What did she get me? An orchid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 762

You deserved it 409

Today, I'm 25 years old, I've got an education and I only now found out in front of 15 people that, no, sparrows are not small pigeons that are going to grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 711

You deserved it 38 505