Today, at 4 a.m., I woke up so I could check out the blood moon....

Today, at 4 a.m., I woke up so I could check out the blood moon. It looked magnificent, so I took a few photos and went back to bed. When I later got up, I noticed the orange street light outside. I’d been admiring a street lamp. FML

By Alan - 9/12/2016 15:04

S-Kro's illustrated FML #364

Hi everyone! It's Friday, time for another illustrated FML. Yes, it's been a while, but we've been working on stuff that...

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By chachichou / Thursday 8 December 2016 03:05 / France

Geek

Social distancing gone wrong

Incognito browsing

Workaholic

By Cerezo - 22/11/2009 15:39 - Guatemala

Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39828

You deserved it

4547

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By vinniesuckmadack - 24/4/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47354

You deserved it

37900

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By Rosies - 30/11/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35412

You deserved it

2905

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By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 17:59 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21425

You deserved it

5038

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2009 22:51 - United States

Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML

I agree, your life sucks

153221

You deserved it

14321

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By soldiergirl - 25/10/2011 00:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he "can't date someone who supports the war". We started dating because he thought I looked cute in my uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35980

You deserved it

3785

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By notsoonenufdeparted - 2/10/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46160

You deserved it

4781

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By Unhelpful - 7/2/2012 04:27 - United States

Today, I was called an 'unhelpful little bitch' by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn't order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it's a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27765

You deserved it

2436

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By Ouch - 6/3/2017 22:00 - United States - Amelia

Today, I found out that unlike in movies, you really don't know you're shot until you see the gunshot wound. Then, once the adrenaline wears off, it's complete agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6906

You deserved it

419

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By Rissa Warrington - 9/3/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33718

You deserved it

4662

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By Anonymous - 14/6/2015 08:10 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29583

You deserved it

3614

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By Anonymous - 12/6/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73652

You deserved it

4353

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By brannonjames - 10/5/2012 22:20 - United States

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26293

You deserved it

2314

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By pregz - 27/2/2015 22:23 - United States

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33313

You deserved it

2607

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By Anonymous - 17/11/2015 10:20 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my friend was complaining about about her new boyfriend. Playing around, I told her that he sounded a lot like my ex. He is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28564

You deserved it

2322

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By Gayeveryday - 15/4/2012 04:12 - Canada - Truro

Today, I came out to my parents. They still think I'm joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32361

You deserved it

5892

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By anon - 24/5/2012 18:59 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30309

You deserved it

2640

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By Rye - 19/2/2009 03:51 - United States

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38713

You deserved it

17117

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By Anonymous - 22/7/2009 08:16 - Australia

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42452

You deserved it

11518

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By lizzie - 25/5/2013 06:55 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

84958

You deserved it

5296

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By smurfpoo - 9/8/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45119

You deserved it

4175

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By Dr.Octopus454 - 7/10/2011 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31018

You deserved it

3605

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By Crud - 6/2/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of six months dumped me over the phone. I'm in the military and recently had to move away to another fort. We'd agreed that we would try to make long distance work. I'd even offered to buy a plane ticket to come see her each weekend. I've been gone less than two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31835

You deserved it

2863

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By Anonymous - 30/7/2015 21:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23945

You deserved it

1786

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By Kyle - 3/12/2013 06:09 - United States - Seattle

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46211

You deserved it

6931

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By coffeeshopgirl - 8/5/2012 00:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41700

You deserved it

4454

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By cstokes - 5/5/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34173

You deserved it

3413

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By heartless - 11/3/2010 21:07 - United States

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25448

You deserved it

2492

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By redeye - 19/9/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40545

You deserved it

2437

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By Anonymous - 14/9/2018 03:30

Today, I finally found out why I got a D in a class last semester. It was a heavily attendance-based class, and apparently he only marked you present if you participated in class discussion. It was a 100-seat lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2742

You deserved it

308

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By Anonymous - 29/7/2020 23:00

Crisis

Today, I had a customer throw his purchase at me and demand a refund after I told him that, due to the national change shortage, I couldn't give him his 38 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1282

You deserved it

309

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By nobrony - 2/7/2012 19:53 - United States - Katonah

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36745

You deserved it

5447

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By I'm a pussy, yeah yeah - 5/9/2015 05:56 - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20868

You deserved it

9933

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By Anonymous - 13/7/2010 08:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16078

You deserved it

41919

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By plzstop - 4/10/2016 11:03 - United States - West Lafayette

Today, I'm a college student. Just like every other goddamn day, my roommate set about twenty alarms a good two hours before she even needs to get up. She just sleeps through the first hour or so of alarms while I wake up. I've been waking up at 6 a.m., even though my first classes are at 9. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

14452

You deserved it

1328

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By NaniNarcotic - 16/8/2011 10:17 - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8862

You deserved it

73228

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By bear - 21/5/2012 22:47 - Norway - Bod?

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21853

You deserved it

4343

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By windsoffate - 9/6/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12546

You deserved it

935

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By great parenting pal - 11/8/2020 02:01

Child labor

Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1782

You deserved it

154

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By Jacoobic - 5/7/2019 20:00

Today, I bought an expensive, heat-resistant double-sided tape to attach my dashcam to the windshield. It didn't last five hours, but has stuck nicely to the floor mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1458

You deserved it

140

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Top comments

By Wizardo | 33

#6720124 - Thursday 8 December 2016 15:16

When the moon hits your eye like a street lamp at night that's amoré.

By Tripartita | 44

#6720126 - Thursday 8 December 2016 15:26

Dude, if you think a street lamp is magnificent, I saw this sweet controlled-access highway exit sign you should check out! Oh, and there's this 50% iron-composite manhole cover that is off the fucking hook!

COMMENTS

By Wizardo | 33

#6720124 - Thursday 8 December 2016 15:16

When the moon hits your eye like a street lamp at night that's amoré.

Bartek0600 | 4

#7430572 - Tuesday 28 March 2017 13:41

By Tripartita | 44

#6720126 - Thursday 8 December 2016 15:26

wendyokoopa23 | 0

#6721118 - Saturday 10 December 2016 18:56

lol

By RichardPencil | 28

#6720144 - Thursday 8 December 2016 16:19

Those Supermoons look like they're so close you could touch them!

With a utility cherry-picker truck, you could!

By bigbluetardis | 21

#6720158 - Thursday 8 December 2016 16:48

This FML made me laugh out loud. Thank you for making my day

By PrincessZelda_HR | 22

#6720165 - Thursday 8 December 2016 16:57

Hey, I've seen some awfully pretty pictures of street lamps before! How'd the pictures turn out? Maybe it wasn't a waste.

By acmariner99 | 23

#6720167 - Thursday 8 December 2016 17:15

Stay away from the LSD!

By MrEldritch | 14

#6720231 - Thursday 8 December 2016 20:34

Was there heavy fog or something that night? Or how far away was this street lamp?

I feel like it should've appeared much too low in the sky to be mistaken as the moon for too long...

By MaknaeMelanie | 16

#6720345 - Friday 9 December 2016 1:42

hahaha idk why it was so funny when I imagined the pictures

By WD_Stevens | 22

#6720381 - Friday 9 December 2016 4:14

Is your name Aisling Bea, by any chance?

By sparkledoge | 29

#6720514 - Friday 9 December 2016 8:29

Yeah but it was a magnificent street lamp !