The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Zoom blues

By bowels from hell - 11/03/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 173

My precious

By Qoqo - 14/08/2021 22:01

Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 111

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 04:00 - Israel - Haifa

Today, a co-worker at the restaurant I work decided it'd be a good idea to kiss my neck while giving me a hug. After I told him the kiss was too much, he wouldn't leave me alone or let me work in peace. I had to ask my sup to kick him out, all the while the event triggered my PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 138

Start worrying

By Lissa - 13/01/2021 01:58

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn’t have me as a pinned text message thread on his phone. But he definitely has his female best friend pinned. He even has a cute nickname for her. The girl he says, "Not to worry about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 251

Wreck

By Car Problems - 03/03/2021 20:01

Today, I paid over $500 to pick up my car from the mechanic, after it'd spent almost a month there. It broke down again on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 84

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

By Anonymous - 17/08/2022 11:00 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I did the dishes to make my parents happy, even though it's my brother's chore. My mom's fancy new Yeti cup was among the dirty dishes, which also has a Bluetooth speaker on the bottom. I didn't know this, and now the Bluetooth speaker is now ruined, mom and dad are furious, and I apparently have to buy a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 227

Alpha

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 18:01

Today, both my dad and boyfriend are serious weightlifters, plus my dad boxed in the army, and my boyfriend is a mixed martial artist. Ever since they met, they've been circling each other like bears in the forest trying to work out which is bigger and meaner before the fight even begins. They're both so childish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 296

One law for thee…

By Ryan - 14/07/2022 14:00

Today, I found out the off-duty cop who beat my face in front of a dozen witnesses was wasn’t even charged with assault. I have court in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 187

Pets are life

By mikalovernj - 27/11/2020 14:02

Today, my neighbor asked me to check in on his pet. When I went into his house, I couldn't find any animals. I searched all over, and finally gave up and called him. I asked him what type of pet he had. His response? "My pet rock, Stubby." That's right, I just spent some time looking for a rock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 174

Besties

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Nottingham Road

Today, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend just moved in with his mom. They've been in my face knitting and baking bread together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 102

Still better off without him

By victimofakarmicbackfire - 12/02/2021 04:58

Today, my sister showed me my arrogant, misogynistic, cheating ex’s Facebook. Since we broke up, he’s become an officer in the Marines and has traveled the world. I’m clinically depressed and in poverty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 302

And you are?

By Firefighter Groom - 07/02/2021 23:01

Today, I got married to my girlfriend of three years. Her mother's Alzheimer's came into play at the wedding when she asked who I was. My bride-to-be couldn't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 75

Information

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 17:01 - United States - Nevada City

Today, my husband, who told me last week he was unhappy, wasn't in love with me anymore and is "talking" to someone else, asked me if I could give him the information for the people we've previously rented from, so he can move out. I gave him what I still had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 137

Call CPS

By Mortified - 03/10/2022 23:30

Today, while on holiday in Melbourne, I begged my wife to take a day off from yelling angrily at our 4 year-old. A few hours later, she was cursing and yelling in front of gathering onlookers because he didn't want to go inside LegoLand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 182

Never trust Facebook

By sad - 01/10/2020 16:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I left a gift on my colleague's desk, with a note saying I liked him. He brought it over and handed it back, and told me he's married. His Facebook says he is single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 627

Another birthday ruined

By Michael - 13/02/2021 09:30 - Australia - Southport

Today, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me because I started having PTSD induced night terrors. On my birthday as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 93

Diva

By justmeagain - 19/09/2022 13:30 - United States - Denver

Today, I requested to have my own room at a hotel instead of sharing with everyone else, and I was called an inconsiderate diva. The reason is that after eating anything, my stomach makes such loud and disgusting noises that no one would be able to sleep, but I’m too embarrassed to say that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 202

Yummy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 23:02 - Germany - Köln

Today, I discovered that 90% of what I do still works on autopilot when I’m too tired to pay attention: Take coffee cup, walk to fridge, open fridge door, grab bottle, pour contents into coffee. The missing 10% was the fact that this particular bottle contained grapefruit juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 450

Weddings blow

By Anonymous - 20/05/2021 19:59 - United States - Bergenfield

Today, I missed going to my boyfriend's stepsister's wedding. I would have been meeting my boyfriend's mom for the first time; now she doesn't like me. She figured I could just "tough it out". I have a chronic health condition and haven't been able to eat or get out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 105

Oil and water

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 14:00

Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 298

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 144

Heiress

By Anonymous - 19/02/2022 06:00

Today, my now ex-husband admitted in open court that the only thing he misses about me is the income from the chain restaurants my parents willed to me. I raised his kids for thirteen years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 125

Wingnut

By Anonymous - 29/06/2022 06:00

Today, my son actually tried to get out of being arrested by claiming he was “an agent” and unless they let him go, his employers “from the government” would come looking for him and there would be “consequences”. The officers eventually got their breath back from laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 202

The Teachers Are Afraid of the Pupils

By JFC - 11/11/2022 14:00

Today, I watched as a bully told a kid, "I wish someone would staple your mouth shut so you would never talk again" right in front of the teacher. The teacher definitely heard it. She didn't get written up for it. Not even a verbal warning. I would pay to see a teacher actually punish someone in this school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 128

Keep your nose out of my life

By maggie - 24/05/2021 04:00

Today, while buying laxatives and really hoping the cashier wouldn’t make some snarky comment, the cashier said, "You know, that’s not a good way to lose weight." I had to explain to him that I’m actually constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 112

Traumatic

By cuz803 - 07/09/2021 17:01

Today, despite working out and training in combat sports routinely as a lifestyle, I continue to have nightmares of those who bullied me in middle school in the past. These people can no longer torture me in real life, but still can in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 208

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 00:00

Today, our youngest child finally moved out of our house. I went to embrace my wife and say something romantic about us growing old together, but she said, "Thank God they're gone, I can finally leave you." An hour later, she was gone too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 178

Serial skid marks

By OverMyInLaws - 20/08/2022 06:00

Today, my sister-in-law recently spend the night to hangout with my 7 year-old. She kept some of her clothes in his dresser. While doing laundry and sorting out clothes that no longer fit him, I found a pair of her shit-stained underwear shoved in the back of one of the drawers. She's in her 40's and this isn't the first occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 138

Class warfare

By lordoftheweird - 02/01/2022 11:01 - Canada - Ladysmith

Today, i had to explain to two different adults that being illiterate is a valid reason to fire them. I have absolutely no idea how they were hired in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 160

The Watchers

By Anonymous - 03/06/2023 15:00

Today, my in-laws just bought the house opposite. They were bad enough 50 miles away but now they’re here all the time. We’ve had to start locking doors and diving to the floor every time we hear our front gate open. Even then they try to open the door and stand in the garden for up to 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 135

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Painful Health Awkward Kids Cops Miscellaneous Money Insomnia Doctor Family Parents Work Annoying Food Friends Love Relatable AITA LGBTQIA+ Embarrassing First Dates Cheating Frustration Religion School Porn Cars Transportation Sex Ironic

The Top

The Top

Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 113

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 705

You deserved it 5 937

Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 455

Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 917

You deserved it 10 999

Today, even though I'm the most neat freak germophobe there is, I was diagnosed with scabies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 843

You deserved it 444

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 030

You deserved it 15 247